what its like to be the loquacious miss bodestyne

ladaridaa..

2007-10-09T23:17:00.000+08:00

My hands are itchy right NOW... And as we all know in Philippine tradition its either u will SPEND money or u'll EARN money.. [well i don't know which hand says which..] moving on.. yes! my hands itch because of MONEY and at the same time I WANNA WRITE... i really do.. and i guess i've blogged about it in here ALL the time and now i am so obsessed that Im blogging it here too.. grrr.. >:( ANYWAY... i just want to WRITE... freakin WRITE... [i guess ur thinking u're writing already idiot! what more do you want..] haha! i want to write something that is WORTHY OF READING.. or am i just to dramatic... *sigh* i wanna! i wanna! i wanna! [shut up u BRAT!] =)

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I still have the FEVER.. the La Salle and Pacquiao FEVER.. =) i am so happy because it's another VICTORY for us Pinoys.. happy happy happy! MABUHAY... ANIMO! =D

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now i feel sad.. not because im sad.. [got it?!] i feel bad for somebody.. i love you! i read ur blog.. no matter what they do we will ALWAYS LOVE THEM NO MATTER WHAT... =( u made me realize something and im thankful for that.. =)

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im all mixed up.. i so AM. and i think its all because of the fact that i've been thinking alot.

i've always wondered how it feels like being the ultimate "hot-chick"..

then i'll realize IM HAPPY with my life but not how i LIVE it..

suddenly, something will pop up then make me have another reality-check..

zapping me back to my what i SHOULD really feel..

then i'll be KO'd of consciousness.

and then im GONE... =(

=)

2007-10-04T19:49:00.000+08:00

i miss my friends...

i wanna go out..

i am BORED..

being impulsive..

2007-09-02T21:49:00.000+08:00

I am impulsive.. i must admit the fact that i've made decisions in my life that i thought was "cool" only to end up flat on my face... =) BUT i'll never grow tired of being impulsive.. i guess i just made the wrong recognition when it comes to my guts.. hah! i am trying to be more RESPONSIBLE and more SENSITIVE with how i should react or handle things.. =) im being optimistic [i think that is better =)]

****

right now, i miss my college buddies... the ones who are really dear to my heart.. = it sucks knowing that there will come a day when all u'll be is another face in a crowd... all the memories are clouded by the reality that you have separate lives now, and new friends to mingle with... ;( i know its too dramatic but heck! i feel so dumb not being ready for this kind of reality... i guess i was too confident on the whole "friends forever" thing... anyway, that's life... hah!

****

i miss my dream guy.. =D haven't seen him in months! GAWD.. where the hell are you.. come back to me.. NOW! hahaha =D

adios.

2007-08-20T20:17:00.000+08:00

after all this time, FINALLY iam able to update my blog.. wheeew! things have definitely changed and im very much willing to move forward... =) i came into a point in my life wherein I HAVE TO GIVE UP SOMETHING THAT I THOUGHT I CAN BE GOOD AT... [too vague?! GOOD] i never really thought that i could really give up something that i've always dreamt of having and pursuing... i'll definitely MISS the feeling... i know that i came across a point in my life wherein i really made a MY OWN DECISION.. I'll surely miss everything.. = maybe someday i'll be able to stay...

GOODBYE.. =(

wishFULL thinking...

2007-07-18T20:00:00.000+08:00

we're currently concentrating on our PST.. [sigh] hopefully we all get to pass this challenge.. i have my sights on WHAT I WANT... weeee! hopefully i'll be able to reach that goal in time.. =) I've never had this kind of drive in my life EVER, i guess sometimes if we really set our minds into something, we can sure hope a lot from our ownselves... =) Though iam quite scared coz I don't know if i will be able to really DO it.. BUT! i KNOW.... SOMEDAY... i'll make my dream come TRUE... haha

IAM COMING.. hahahahaha =)

check in..

2007-07-06T20:39:00.000+08:00

I am now able to say that my Makati experience is FUN.. [coz if I failed I would sing a different tune.. haha] anyway, as I said I am really happy that I was able to pass CCT and may 2 week stay in Makati was all worth it! =) As of today, my wavemates and myself have transferred to Alabang and it's our 4th day in CVG alabang. Another challenge is up ahead and its our evaluations for PST.. *sigh* I hope i'll do good... =

This past few weeks has been very stressful for me... I kept thinking bout my status in CCT, lack of sleep, drain from all the thinking I have to do all day and all the 'commotions' that happened.. Though its actually fun knowing that there is always 'something new' to talk about every morning.. [haha!] =) I've seen quite a few antics that please me and tick me off as well.. A sure proof that people are sometimes funny to watch.. I am no hypocrite that sometimes I feel a little off with some of my wavemates but I don't hold it against them coz that's how they are. I AM IN NO POSITION TO BE A TOTAL DRAMA QUEEN JUST BECAUSE I DON'T LIKE SOMEONE... and I do admit I am irritated by some but NOT ALL.. and YES! i also love some but not ALL.. and YES! I ENJOY THEIR COMPANY.. ALL OF THEM.. =)

Diversity is evident in my wave.. We've come from different walks of life and YET we found similiraties from each other's respectives lives.. it is a small world.. its just how u look at it [world/life] that makes it different.. I will never understand the complexities of life BUT i'll try to LIVE with this complexities.. =D

I LOVE LIFE.. =)

i was once a bully like you...

2007-06-07T19:25:00.000+08:00

Last tuesday I had fun time being with people that I love [aside from my family], my highschool friends the 'bru club' as I call them.. haha ANYWAY, im losing my point... haha =) We were left with nothing more to talk about then suddenly we remembered our highschool days... We reminisced all the pathetic things we've done and all the drama we've been through as a group... *sigh* And its true we really were 'mababaw' back then... =)

****

When I came home, I had my own 'moment' [as what my bru gigay calls it] wherein I reflected on the things I did back in highschool, THEN I REMEMBERED i was NASTY back then... I was the chubby funny girl who was making my classmates laugh by being mean... YES! I was a MEAN GIRL and I admit I was a bully back then... *sigh* It sucks coz when I look back to highschool, I would have hated me. I mean, I was tackless, arrogant, all-knowing, b*tch! YEP! i am acknowledging the FACT that i was all that... I used the weak ones as the laughing stock so that my classmates wouldn't make fun of me...

****

I WAS THE INSECURE ONE... All the experts say about the mean girls, the bullies are TRUE... Those who put other people down are actually the ones who are shy, afraid and VULNERABLE... I was all that in highschool. I wasn't the popular one, the head turner, the 'crush-ng-bayan' type so I used my sense of humor to compensate for my imperfection. SAD but TRUE...

****

When i stepped in College, things changed. I became a little MELLOW... I guess its because of the fact that I am starting a new life in a new school and a new environment, nobody new how I was treated in gradeschool and how my elementary classmates humiliated me... IT WAS ALL NEW... It was a transition actually, the fact that I am getting 'older' made me a little more wiser...

****

I don't know if the people whom I stepped on would actually read this BUT from my heart of hearts I WANT TO APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HAVE PUT YOU THROUGH... I take responsibility for it and I AM REALLY SORRY... I know some of you have already flourished in your respective fields and I hope that you'll all continue to do so... Godbless...

****

And to the other bullies/mean girls out there... =) Take full responsibility of your actions. Try to see what drives you crazy inside. What 'hole' is it that you want to fill? And always remember what goes around comes around...

****

I actually I like what Olivia Gardner said [the young girl who was bullied in school who was shown in the Today Show last June 6] That for every one bad person there are a hundred good persons. =)

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And that makes me once a bully LIKE YOU... =)

PEACE!

[sorry for the asterisks... my spacing is not working for the nth time..]

as we go on...

2007-06-02T21:37:00.000+08:00

life has never been this challenging for me.. *sigh* These past few months, things have changed drastically... There are have been alot of things to think about, to accomplish and to really dwell upon... Im a kind of person who lives for the moment, and i guess one of its down falls is that there is no room for thinking and analyzing the gravity of the situation. I am open to endless possibilities and i believe that everything happens for a reason, but there are times when i just want to really THINK... =

Right now, im about to venture into the real world.. I have a job as a CCR for a call center agency in Alabang... Its funny how things happen so fast that you end up dumbfounded with what just transpired.. That actually happened to me, I took the intervied and the exam around 10 am then I was already hired by 2PM... Yes, it's flattering that I was chosen when a lot of people tried to be where I am right now... BUT i feel like I want to be somewhere else YET i don't know where that somewhere is... *sigh* it sucks! but i know that I am about to enter one of the most exciting moments in my life... and im anxious about it.. hahay! =)

There are things that are bothering me... though i really don't wanna dwell on it coz I think its none of my business but in a way its making its way through my veins.. haha =D anyway, i do hope that things will be alright...

It's funny how life actually makes a fool out of us... We try to live a life that we think is perfect, yet when we look at other people's lives, ours is actually closer to perfect. [nevermind!]... anyhoo.. Im actually planning to hit the gym soon.. haha im actually excited... hope it will push through... =)

Let's go back to December 2006... [nevermind again! hahaha]

pissed off

2007-05-11T17:03:00.000+08:00

my feet's swollen [i think!] the f*cking job fair was a load of CRAP... for godsake! i just hate this f*cking day... grrrr! i wanna go home... BUT im still here in Robinson's Galleria... nyway, guess i just have to make sense of my stay here... [whatever!]

2007-04-30T21:45:00.000+08:00

I miss my college buddies... haha! [biglang ngemote..] I guess its because of the fact that we've been together for FOUR YEARS... I see them everyday [that includes summer] Just imagine how TIGHT we are... *sigh* I miss my 'autogals'... We've been through it all... the drama, the laughter, the 'bitching', the 'summer curse', the stupidities, the boy-troubles, escapades... [waaa! im about to have a breakdown!] =( I guess all good things have to end.. although the friendship WILL ALWAYS BE THERE... but we have to go our separate paths... ='(

(L to R) Ruth, Dhang, and me

photo taken during our graduation practice =) [wished kring,iya and connie were there]

It was an awesome experience having friends like them... My college life was never the same again... *sigh* =) I LOVE THEM... and i will tell my future kids and my future grandchildren our story and how friendship can make life AWESOME! =)

if they only knew

2007-04-27T21:45:00.000+08:00

It's funny how we view each other... Some may envy your looks, your social stature, academic prowess, 'emotional stability' etc. yet in reality there is nothing to be envious about... We have our own weakness, our own strengths and we have to find a way to make them compromise so we could have a harmonious life... =(

*****

What gave me this idea is a actually a friend of mine who texted me awhile ago and she told me that she actually admires me because I get to handle things as if I don't feel sad and as if im some kind of a wonder woman... Well, here is what i can say about that as of NOW, I am vulnerable. I've never been this weak in my 20 year existence... I guess it has dawned to me that I am not actually my 'full person' as of today... I've tried to keep this facade that I am ok and that I can be reached by my friends about they problems anytime... i never thought that it could actually cause something like this... The feeling of extreme weakness... as if i carry the world over my shoulders when it shouldn't be in the first place... ;-( Im not MAD whatsoever I actually feel proud of myself coz I made them feel safe with me... [so don't get me wrong] I guess I just don't want people to think [particularly those who are important to me] that I am always ready to handle their 'blows' though Im always willing to listen to them, but maybe someday there will come a time wherein i'll be one in need... I hope they're still around... ;-)

*****

PEACE!

[my spacing is not working again... grrrr!]

me... me... me...

2007-04-26T14:00:00.000+08:00

I guess the photo says it all... haha

BUM... one word that could describe me right now... GAWD! this is driving me insane... my girls are not ready to go out yet coz some of them have summer classes... *sigh* I really wanna go out... enjoy the beach and have something worthwhile to do... [grrrr!] anyway, its freakin' HOT outside and that is also one factor why i don't want to leave the house.. [haha!] =) As of now, I have to say "CHILLAX lng muna"... =) Im not really rushing myself into working but as soon as June steps in and there are still no answer from my 'dream job' I guess its time to MOVE ON... =) Im quite anxious about it... [oh for the love of God!!] *sigh* Have to go... i don't want to spoil my whole afternoon.. hahahaha =)

How am I?

2007-04-24T22:08:00.000+08:00

As of the time being i am BORED... Thank goodness books were created... television reigned supreme and Oprah was always on or I will go NUTS... [do you hear me?! NUTS...] anyway, I am not looking for a job unlike my former blockmates who have applied on call centers, TV networks, Newspapers, etc... Im here lounging around as if money will come my way... *sigh* I never thought that living in the real world is this tough... Im used in spending my folks' money, sleep during the weekends, lounge around, go to school and act smart [haha], and just be a normal teenager [the way society depicts it]... Oh wait! I am no longer a teenager [oh shoot!] im already a young adult and I should start picking my OWN trash and my OWN a** around... [the hell!] *sigh*

*****

I want to be useful again.. and i must admit I MISS SCHOOL!!! [grrr!] I miss beating the deadline, doing my projects the day before [haha!], hanging out with my friends, productions, and all those academic stuff... I hate it when I feel so useless... I want to think... I want to write... I want to recite [Lord! I miss sir Gagalac's recitations, Sir Umali's Prelim, Midterm and Final exams, Thesis making] I feel like my creative juices are starting to lose its 'acidity'.... [f*ckaroo!]

*****

Now it boils down to my current emotional state... [as i call it] Im actually in a balanced state of mind [my own term again!]... i really don't know how I get through the day... i shock myself everytime... =) I guess it just sums up how vulnerable I really am right now... [stinking hormones!] YES! I blame those hormones... sometimes Im high and then i get really low... [am i Bipolar?!] Oh shocks! NOOOO!!! = ... For sure Im just doing my best to take the 'best' out of my boring summer vacation... [GAWD! Its HOT here in the Philippines!!!] Blame it on the carelessness of us humans to Mother nature... [grrr!]

*****

Last Sunday was Earth Day and was also my bez's birthday... soooo...

Bez EURE!! Happy Birthday... =) mua! Lorve you...

point blank...

2007-04-21T20:43:00.000+08:00

Im about to burst into tears... =(... For what reason? Honestly i have no idea! or maybe I know but I just can't accept it... pathethic huh?! HELL YEA... =( As of now, Im a little sad of my day's outcome... i feel bad that im back to my old ways... Im just not in the mood to be happy right now... its as if i feel horrible... =(

*****

sabi nga ni gigay BITTERGOURD... I guess that is ONE reason why im so 'sad' right now... I feel a little bitter... Bitter about how boring my summer is... Bitter about my dad's actions... Bitter about my LOVELIFE... Bitter about sign guy... B-I-T-T-E-R!!!! i want to feel better NOW... i hate this kind of feeling i just HATE IT... =(

*****

please.. make sense of things... im losing my patience AGAIN... i hate MYSELF! Im getting to excited of things again... hoping then failing in the end.. this is NOT GOOD... =(

2007-04-20T20:36:00.000+08:00

im currently in the state of loneliness.. haha [dramatic!] grrrr.. = anyway, i just want to share this email i got from a cousin... =)

what is love to a 4-8 yr old?

1. When my grandma got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint her toenails anymore. So my grandpa does it for her now all the time, even when > his hands got arthritis too. That's love. > Rebecca- age 8

2. When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You just know that your name is safe in their mouths. > Billy- age 4

3. Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving Cologne and they go out and smell each other. > Kari- age 5

4. Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs. > Chrissy- age 6

5. Love is what makes you smile when you're tired. > Terri- age 4

6. Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK. > Danny- age 7

7. Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of kissing, you still want to be together and you talk more. My mommy and my daddy are like that. They look gross when they kiss. > Emily- age 8

8. Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen. > Bobby- age 7 (WOW - get the Kleenex - he'll go places in this ole world.)

9. If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate. Nikka- age 6

10. Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday. > Noelle- age 7

11. Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well. > Tommy- age 6

12. During my piano recital, I was on stage and I was scared. I looked at all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling. He was the only one doing that. I wasn't scared anymore. > Cindy- age 8

13. My mommy loves me more than anybody. You don't see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night. > Clare- age 6 (gotta love her)

14. Love is when mommy gives daddy the best piece of chicken. > Elaine-age 5

15. Love is when mommy sees daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Robert Redford. > Chris- age 7

16. Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day.

> Mary Ann- age 4

17. When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you.

> Karen- age 7 (what generation is this kid?)

18. Love is when mommy sees daddy on the toilet and doesn't think it's gross. > Mark- age 6

19. You really shouldn't say I LOVE YOU unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget. > Jessica- age 8 (priceless)

And the winner was a 4 year old child whose next door neighbor was an elderly man who had just lost his wife. When the child saw the man cry, the little boy went over into the man's yard and climbed on top of the man's lap and just sat there. When the boy's mother asked him what he'd said to the neighbor, the little boy said, "Nothing, I just helped him cry."

*****

these kids touched my heart... =)

FINALLY...

2007-04-18T20:15:00.000+08:00

im back AGAIN.. after a long time of not blogging here.. =) i was too busy managing my

friendster and multiply accounts that i wasn't able to blog here.. *sigh* BUT now im back and there is no stopping my excitement in blogging in my blogspot again... wohooo! =)

For the past 2 months I've done a lot things already [aside from being a full time BUM]... i actually GRADUATED.. =) I had acquired my Degree in Broadcast Journalism last March 22, 2007 at the Philippine International Convention Center (PICC) in Manila... It was one of those moments that really made a MARK in my life.. i guess the thought of FINISHING school and setting foot into the real world contributed to my enthusiam.. =) I am indeed happy that my parents saw me in one of my triumphant moments in my 20 years of existence... =)

Graduation marked the end and beginning of my life... The END of my academic responsibilities, my school night outs, drinking sessions with my college friends and the whole thought of going to school and STUDY... YET! it also marked the BEGINNING of a new chapter in my life... A chapter that leads to a whole LOT of RESPONSIBILITY... a chapter that can dictate how i would manage my life and my FUTURE... I know there is no more room for any excuses coz there no more subjects to blame, requirements to finish, extra-curricular activities to attend to and a thesis to think about... It actually scares me coz i don't know how in the world will I be able to handle my life... i guess only time can tell... *sigh*

For the next months, i'll be in search of a JOB... a JOB that will represent me [i hope]... Im excited and scared at the same time... I don't know if I will be even able to represent what the employers want... [i don't want to disappoint my mentors..] *sigh* I have to be tough... I HAVE TO... =

As for the time being, im a certified BUM... and it feels like i'll be in this situation for quite some time... haha =) BUT! i promise to look for a job soon... heehee =)

sheesh!

2007-02-01T13:50:00.000+08:00

i guess the photo pretty much says it all.. haha =D although everyone isn't part of the photo but this is how we look like on a regular basis.. hahahaha (am i right?!) =) anyhoo, its already the 1st day of February and yes we're almost near the end of the line... end of college that is.. =') i really don't know how to handle this whole im-living-college thing.. i will sure gonna miss the people that i've been with for almost 4 years.. FOUR FREAKIN' YEARS!!! same faces, same wickedness, same sense of humor, same old same old... =)

we've been through 3 recollections.. 1 retreat... a lot of productions... a lot of 'sessions'... tons of drinking sessions... 1 ultimate bora-coor moment... lots of laugh trips... and tons and tons of MOMENTS... i will miss you guys.. =') I freakin' hate the fact that we are about to be 'separated'... i felt bad when highschool ended but i never knew that college will be worse! i guess its because of the fact that you've been with the same people for a long time.. seen them bloom, seen them weep, seen them curse, seen them laugh, seen them fight, seen them beat the hell out of each other... hahaha =)

we still have a few weeks as a block.. i really don't wanna spoil the fun so i guess it will be better to keep all the good memories last... =) hay! i just can't accept the fact that the end is near.. grrr!!

we've worked hard for every single thing that we've achieved in school.. i remember my 1st day in school, i was so excited coz i have a new uniform, new pair of shiny black shoes, a cute hanky, a pretty bag and tons of pictures to remind me of my first day in school then the INEVITABLE happened... the NERVES got the best of me! haha ( i remember how my mom always tells this story. haha she finds it funny yah know!) its the famous line "mommy, masakit ang tiyan ko!" i really don't know why but when it was my 1st day in college i uttered the SAME LINE to my mother.. she laughed so hard she almost collapsed in her chair.. why am i saying this? coz i believe i'll be uttering the same line on graduation day... the day when im beginning a new chapter in my life... hay!

i hope that we will still see each other in the field.. =) we're gonna rock this industry!! hahaha

JOURNZEROSEVEN! fuck you all.. hahaha =) you made my college life oh too SWEET!! i love all of you... and i never regret every single moment we spent with each other.. =D you all rock! Let's leave school with something that they will NEVER forget.. haha =D

el prinsipe...

2007-01-24T23:50:00.000+08:00

i miss him..

pacita-mania

2007-01-21T22:46:00.001+08:00

yes folks.. PACITAmania.. =) REPAPEEPS!! advance happy boitday... it was AWESOME! although there wasn't any 'hall-famer' award given to anyone (term came from kadyosa letlet) coz no one was drunk, it still was F-U-N... =) haha it was parpol's bday bash and actually it was waaaaay toooooo early coz he-r birthday is on the 23rd.. anyhoo! it was an ass kickin' bash.. BUT the whole journ fam wasn't complete coz some have stuff to do.. hay! wonder if we will ever be complete... *sigh*

****

had happy feet on the tv... san mig lite on one hand.. and laughter all around.. and what do you have? GOOD CLEAN FUN... =D hay! how i wish my kadyosas were there (u know hu u are!! fuckaroos!!)

****

I actually came home around 10am... slept all day... then went 'holy' around 6pm... I HAD A GREAT TIME.. and i guess everyone who was present there will agree with me... weee! it felt sooo good knowing that we were laughing the night off... all i know is that it was all positive and all were happy... can't wait to do it all over again.. IM EXCITED..

****

REPAPEEPS! lab you dude.. haha thanks for the pancit... for the cake.. for the chicken... for the nagaraya... for the booze... for the bash... for the 'bed'... for the pillows and blanket... for the coke/royal... and most of all for the MOMENTS.. haha =)

****

hanggang sa susunod na RAKENROL...

****

BTW... i've seen the ad in starworld a long time ago and i felt that these kids need our help.. and being a self-confessed child lover i want to do something to spread the word... if you want to STOP child pornography.. light a million candles.. i just did.. click here

they're HERE!

2007-01-12T00:04:00.000+08:00

been totally obsessed with GREY'S ANATOMY... =) hay! love sucks... and the line "... so pick me choose me love me..." keeps on running in this plutoed brain of mine... and i was fortunate enough to watch an episode a while ago.. it was about drawing lines (boundaries) and there was this phrase that really sparked a thought.. "there are alot of things we don't know about each other..." (which is TRUE!!) =')....

... I had this conversation with a dear friend and i was talking to her bout some stuff when she suddenly txted something about her special someone and the idea of this certain someone dating somebody else.. so i was shocked that she confided a little about her predicament.. as we continued talking about it, she admitted that she never gave 100% of her true RAW emotions.. i mean, she kept a lot of stuff from us coz "i don't want to share the pain"... i felt bad.. coz i feel like 'im not good enough' to be her friend then i realized that I too kept quite a few skeletons in my crazy closet... then one tree hill gave me this new 'slogan' (haha!) "Truth is a lie... Nobody knows anyone.." =') sad but TRUE.. we've all kept stuff from everyone... and if there is ONLY ONE being that knows us its the ONE UP THERE... =) i know too cliche-ish.. but i guess "late bloomer lng ako pagdating sa mga realizations.. haha"

**** hay ****

i never knew that i will even talk about this but anyway, i feel HORRIBLE... (yes! HORRIBLE) its been bugging me for quite some time now.. i know i shouldn't be overly dramatic about it BUT i can't help it... i MISS this certain person really bad... then as i was going through some stuff, i bumped into something that SHOCKED ME... ='( hay! it sucks.. pakshet!

**** hmmm ****

i should have just kept things to myself... i should have just turned around and walked away... i learned that there is a certain kind of kindess that should be left ALONE... i learned that in this life not all things that make me FEEL GOOD is worthy of my time... i discovered that im STUPID enough to make the same mistake AGAIN and AGAIN and AGAIN coz i never knew in the first place the lesson that is needed to be learned (until now..)... i know that IAM my WORST ENEMY... i discovered that crying isn't that much helpful nowadays... i learned that HE is someone who will always be my inspiration... I knew in my heart that no matter what i do his voice will ALWAYS resound in my head.. AND lastly, i knew that even if i hide the pain it will always.. always come back to GET ME...

**** i suck.. ****

**** still hoping... BUT i know his happy... ****

**** i'll let him be... ****

**** IAM STILL SMILING **** =)

perst

2007-01-02T22:55:00.000+08:00

perst post for the year two-O-O-seven... =) wohooo!!!

***
my new year's eve is not that good.. i miss my sister and my pamangkins.. hay! how i wish i was able to talk to them when the fireworks started to light up the night skies.. hay! I MISS THEM.. huhu =( anyway, even if we're not complete this dec 31st i knew that in our hearts we're still together.. although family tradition was 'violated'.. hay! smile na lang ulet.. =) can't stop smiling.. im just TOOO HAPPY... hahahay!!!

***

JAN 1, 2007... i thought i will just stay home and be a HUGE bum... BUT i got an sms from che, inviting us to have a new year lakwatsa... =D being the 'lakwatsera' that iam i immediately said yes.. next thing i knew, gayle and jae are coming with us and BOI! it was fun.. hahaha.. although carrie was not around coz she has to go back to UPLB coz they already have classes on JAN 2.. hay! stupid classes!! hahaha ;D anyhoo, the 'lakad' pushed through and i found myself in che's car... so we went and pick up jae sa red ribbon tpos si gayle in their subd... (boi! her little brother is cute.. haha jani! mg-artista ka!! hahaha) =) then off we go to... GREENHILLS... then...

it was CLOSED! yes! CLOSED... hahahaha so the 4 of us wanted to go somewhere else... then they hatched the idea of going to Tiendecitas instead.. so off we go AGAIN.. haha then it was open.. yipee!! (had a lot of BLOOPERS along the way!! haha) but it wasn't that much fun until we saw Brad Turvey.. hahaha =) but the fun ended and it was getting 'corny na' so we decided to go somewhere else... BUT the question is where... Glorietta is closed.. MOA is not an option (been there already)... Let's re-enact the conversation...

Che: oi SAN NA??

Mia: ewan ko..

Gayle: ahm...

Jae: --------------- (haha)

Mia: alam ko na! kain tayo Krispy Kreme!!!

Gayle: huwaaaw! oo nga..

Che: San meron? dba sa skool (UST) meron nun..

Gayle: Crispy Crepe un...

Mia: mga pilipino talaga.. kung magpangalan.. blah blah

Jae: (wla lang..)

Che: OH SAN NGA TAYO???

GAYLE AND MIA: THE FORT!!!

***

The dream of ours became a reality (with A LOT OF BLOOPERS AGAIN ALONG THE WAY)... we are going to eat at Krispy Kreme.. haha =) actually i remember promising gayle na pag may donuts pa sa ofis kukuha ko xa isa!! haha =) so we found ourselves savoring the donuts.. yum!... grabe ung isang lalaki dun tlga sinulit ung free taste ng krispy kreme tlagang kuha ever xa! haha oh well masarap naman talaga ung donuts.. haha... anyway... natakot pa nga sila che kasi hndi alam ng mga magulang nmin na nasa the fort kami.. haha =) *thank God for EDSA it made travelling time shorter..*

hindi halatang pers taym.. haha

HAY!
***

we ended the day sa Blue Wave.. wla na kaming ibang mapuntahan eh.. haha we were able to catch the fireworks display sa MOA.. GANDA! hay.. (gusto ko 2loi mg-EK!) =D hehehe kso Jae has to go to Pandacan buti nlng her parents were near the area nasundo xa.. hehe HI JAE!! =) baka nbabasa mo to!! haha HI-YA! =) hay! it was FUN.. nakaw! bsta ung mga un kasama ko nababaliw ako eh.. haha walng tigil ang tawanan.. kabaklaan.. kadumihan ng isipan (na medyo wholesome.. LABO).. at xempre kagandahan... =)

***

as usual.. plans were made.. wonder if it will all come true.. haha =) i even have a deadline with Che this march.. (naprepresure ako!! haha) =) Hope our plans will REALLY HAPPEN.. ahaha ultimate bonding experience un.. =)

***

and yea.. we learned a lesson from our trip: "wag masyadong mawili sa mga lakad na biglaan dahil may mga tao na nabibigla.." LABO BA? =)

FLICKER

2006-12-31T21:47:00.000+08:00

if there is a word that will describe my WHOLE YEAR it will be FLICKER...

***

Thinking about the whole 2006 i came into a conclusion that my life is like the xmas lights we see gracing the houses of our neighbors or maybe on your own house... you see it shine unsteadily, some bulbs may even be dead, some bulbs light with the beat of a xmas song, some are in unison with the others or some shine above the rest... SAME AS MY LIFE... =)

***

as i ALWAYS say my life isn't perfect and I even said to a friend that i feel like my life is a routine and everything is just a joke.. well! im a dumb-ass so i see myself as a caricature to this so-called life of mine.. (whatever!) moving on... =) i have my moments and i guess it's not so bad that i ended this year with questions in my head...

***

the bulbs that shine unsteadily...

i guess those people who are close to me know that im at that certain 'phase' in my life where im too overwhelmed with all that comes into my head... thoughts that seem to be too redundant.. thoughts that are sometimes pointless... haha i've made posts that are too pointless (it consumes so much space in my site's memory)... =) anyway, so-called bulbs that shine unsteadily are all the uncertainties that came into my life.. the questions that up until now is still a part of me.. from my plans in the future, to my next post (haha) and even to my 'lovelife'... =) these bulbs are what comprises my existence as of the moment, unsteady... and iam excited that as my 'bulbs flicker' it makes my ass kickin' practice harder... hahaha

***

the 'dead' bulbs...

i've been totally smitten by some personas in my life and im not regretting every single moment i did out of well pure infatuation.. and yea! i've finally moved on.. =) HALLELUJAH! i can still remember that sunny thursday when i came to realize that i wanna know his name.. (which i did!) and it was the dumbest thing i did so far but i don't regret it at all.. haha coz i made a choice and at that moment i chose to go straight to his face ask a stupid question then ask his name.. haha what a moment it was!! hahaha =D hay! to you 'my friend' thanks for the 'kilig moments'.... peace! and to the other guy that caught my attention last year (2005) have a pleasant year ahead.. and i wish you happiness! *winks* ..... feeling of hate and anger have subsided... (gone even) and yes! after years of suffering i came to realize that IT WAS NEVER MY PROBLEM it was THEIRS... and i hope my self worth will come back to me.. (imishoo) =)

***

bulbs that dance with beat of a christmas song...

my heart is palpitating with all the LOVE i've been receiving from my family... my friends.. and ALL the people im blessed to have... =) they are the BEAT that makes my heart dance... my life merry and puts a smile on my face... they are the people behind my success and all the blessings that i have in this life they are a part of it and i share my existence with them... THANK YOU U MAKE ME DANCE... hahaha that is why i make my messages whether xmas, new year, bday, valentines, friendship day, etc personal coz u all mean something to me... aaaw! MUSHY! haha

***

bulbs that are in unison with others....

moments that are working together to make a 'cute' picture... haha =) this year has a been a year of chaos... from school projects to personal affairs it was CHAOS... BUT all these chaos that showered my life were those that made it interesting, challenging even... things may not have been good during the latter parts of the year BUT there were also some people who came and made my year AWESOME! =)

***

bulbs that shine above the rest...

i can compare these 'bulbs' to certain people who made my year PLEASANT... also to the moments that were quite ASTONISHING... hay! as what they always say when God closes a door He opens a window... and boi! He did open WINDOWS!! =) im thinking of someone that reallly made this year memorable.. haha and i doubt if he will ever have the opportunity to read this but YEA! you made my year.. and of course all the people that make me smile every freakin' day...

*****

and as this year draws to a close i wanna take this opportunity to tell you that THANKS! for reading.. thanks for understanding.. i know there are people out there who are still reading this pointless blog.. haha and i APPRECIATE THAT... if there are some that i've hurt IM SORRY... to those who hurt me LET'S MOVE ON TOGETHER>.. to those who remained true I LOVE Y'ALL... and to those who inspire me to continue this passion HATS OFF TO YOU!... =)

******

HAVE A ROCKIN' NEW YEAR EVERYONE!! till next year... =)

gawd! 2 more hours and bye bye 2006 and HELLO 2007!!! =)

yea girl!

2006-12-27T10:30:00.000+08:00

last night was one of those nights where it felt right to kick things up a notch.. =) it was another BRU moment and it was FUN... it felt right and it felt G-O-O-D!! haha although we weren't complete coz Jae needs to be somewhere else (miss you girl!) it was still a certified BRUHITA outing... =D hay! nothing beats highschool barkadas tlaga! (i guess you will agree with me people) BUT! i also LORVE my college 'kadas okie.. hahaha (defensive!) =) anyhoo! it was a crazy day... and the reasons are:

i was able to be with my girls
nakalabas ako FINALLY ng bahay
ng-MOA kami
we were able to taste Lamesa Grill's food (btw YUM-O [rachel ray??])
formed a new business venture (in the future) a resto named "Gjay & Friends" *Pupung & Friends better watch out coz hear we come!!* =)
pitikan na (hahahahahaha BASTOS!!)
we are planning to be 'rebels' for a day (whatta??)
laughed... actually, LAUGHED HARD
forgot our 'hang ups' for a while
LULU (mai tono yan actually..)
the conversations are getting greener and greener as the years pass
had many trips down memory lane =)
chismis all over
realizations =)
promises and plans were made (although im a little doubtful with the plans coz we live with the rule that: "lahat ng hindi planado natutuloy.")

BUT! there was a down side, we didn't enjoy much the mall coz it felt like the whole population of Manila and other nearby areas are ALL inside... can't walk straight, have to move side ways or actually STOP so that other people can pass through... haha FUNNY! kasi inis kami eh andun din naman kami eh di nakakadagdag kami sa population ng mall.. haha

looking forward to another lakad with you guys... sulitin na dahil pag mai class na patay na nman tayo... wahaha =) NEW YEAR's RESOLUTION NATIN AH!! tska ung Krispy Kreme date ntin.. don't forget...

love y'all.. :-) hanggang sa susunod na paglabas ng BRU CLUB... haha

2006-12-24T22:40:00.000+08:00

HAPPY HOLIDAYS EVERYONE!

HOPE everyone will have an awesome Christmas and a ROCKIN' new year!!!

TAKE CARE all yah ass-kickin' people.. haha =)

God Bless! =D

PEACE!
BY THE WAY!

i wanna greet my good friend Dhang ADVANCE HAPPY BDAY!! hahaha =)

also belated happy birthday to: Airis, Connie, Summerbaby, Ael and to my other friends who are December celebrants!! hahaha LIBRE KO AH!! =)

2006-12-20T22:28:00.000+08:00

litrato ng taon =)

sa sobrang atat mgkapicture ayarn! kamusta nman ang pic nmin.. hahaha =D hay! today was Homecoming's last episode... hay! mamimiss ko ang mga pipol.. BUT even if Homecoming's over, im not yet done with m practicum, i bet i will be able to experience IMC's new office! witWAW!! hahahaha =) NYEAS!

done, but with errors on page

2006-12-18T19:43:00.000+08:00

today was supposed to be OJT day but due to some 'unknown' reason/s we weren't able to come... hay! anyway, did something awesome... hahaha nerve wracking!!! hay! it was totally uncalled for but it gave me the chills... whatever! =) hay!!! SO HAPPY... but i shld not be to merry coz its just a simple answer... haha no more no less... hay!

i can smell the season!! and i can see it through the unwavering flicker of my neighbor's lights... =) the sound of children singing carols remind me of how sad i was back in the days coz i wanna join them but my dad is TOTALLY against it.. (INC po ako!) =) anyway, its right here and i am totally excited although we are not celebrating it... (LABO!)

****

thesis defense w/c was actually re scheduled... hehehe =) atleast wala pa kaming verdict... im NARBUS!!! waaah

TBUDS!!
witWOOOT!! hahaha bez eure, me and ruthalicious..aaw!

another say cheese moment!

TBUDS with lurlur =)

WAITING IN VAIN.. (again!)

here iam yet again... waiting for that 'awesome guy' who took my breath away... hay! if only he knew that he meant that much.. hahaha if only! =D well, u keep me afloat... hahaha =) even if there is nothing out there for us STILL iam HAPPY that you did come to make me feel.... H-A-P-P-Y!!! they say that we come into each other's lives to make a 'difference' and YOU DID BOI! hahahahaha =) keep on rockin' f*ck*r...

*** what's with the title? haha nothing really i just saw it at the bottom of my blogger window! haha can't think of a proper title so i chose this one... whatever!

chasing time

2006-12-16T20:05:00.000+08:00

yesterday was OJT day... we went to UP Diliman... =) College of Fine Arts.. siyet!! ang galing nila gumwa ng mga lanterns... astig!!!! =D amazing...

*****

had the opportunity to see Kringeration!! hay.. i so miss her!!! kaya sobrang happy ako na nagkita kami... so it was like a mini reunion for autogals! kaso wla nman si iya at rutha.. hay! di bale there is such a thing called next time.. har! wait!! i'll STOP the code switching...

*****

anyway, there are a LOT of things that are bothering me as of the moment and i feel like time is not at my side thus im CHASING TIME... hay! whoah!! SEXY LOVE is being played right now!!! hahaha kinda reminds me of someone!! aaw!! i've learned about a lot things yesterday and it was kinda SHOCKING!!! although im used to hearing stuff like 'that' but i never thought it was really POSSIBLE... haha =) anyway, i have NO PLANS of saying it here so might as well skip the subject.. hahahaha (whatta?!)

*****

i miss you... =) i just hope that i will able to see you soon...

im chasing time for you...

and i will do my VERY BEST just to be near you again...

if only you knew...

curses

2006-12-14T23:55:00.000+08:00

its really funny how people tend to mesmerize me on a regular basis... ;) they keep me from maintaning my sanity... if it wasn't for my continuous effort to be around people i could have lost my battle a long time ago... someone actually asked me how old i was, haha kz when asked how was my love life sabi ko 20 years na kong bigo! haha kaya tuloy nagwonder ung kausap ko if i am 'that old' to say such a thing... haha im just 20 years old living a 40 yr old life!! hahaha just kidding! im just well... FRUSTRATED... yes! I AM.. and when people ask me 'how are you?' i always flash the pathetic smile and say 'OK LANG AKO' when in reality IM NOT.. haha weird no! well, atleast NOW im being HONEST... hahahahay!! stupid ass! hehe =) anyway, as i've said im FRUSTRATED...

****

HAY! can i just lose the attitude and just be CARE FREE!!! grrr! i hate the fact Im trying my best to be me and yet its me that is pulling me back... f*ck!! hay.. i can do this! i know i can... maybe not now but in the days to come.. i can do this... i can do this... i can do this... i can do this...

****

tomorrow.. CORRECTION later is practicum day.. i shld be sleeping right now but as usual im doing one of my pathetic entries and yes im cursing again..haha anyway, im waiting for dhang's msg... hehe as if you care! hahahaha (stupid!) should i really be laughing..

****

curse you HORMONES!!!

salamat sa pag-alala

2006-12-13T11:08:00.000+08:00

nakakatuwang isipin na maraming taong nagmamahal sau.. sa bawat mensahe na natatanggap mo araw-araw alam mo na may mga tao na nakaka-alala sayo... =) PERO gusto mo na may ISANG tao na magparamdam sayo PERO hindi ka nya naalala... hindi siya nagpaparamdam... saklap noh.. sa dinami-dami ng nagparamdam/nakakaalala sayo yung pinaka-HIHINTAY mo ang WALA... =( nakakaasar PERO wala kang magagawa dahil HINDI KA NIYA NAIISIP... HINDI KA SUMASAGI SA ISIP NIYA... putragis! badtrip noh! haha NGUNIT isa-isip mo na HINDI YUN ANG KATAPUSAN NG MUNDO.. hndi pare! dahil sa ISA na hindi ngparamdam 25 ang PUMALIT... nakaalala, nagparamdam, nagpa-alala sayo na may IBANG TAO NA NAKAISIP SAYO NGAYON...

SALAMAT! may mga tao parin na nagpaparamdam... SALAMAT! meron paring patunay na may pag-asa parin sa buhay... SALAMAT! andiyan parin sila, IKAW, AKO... SALAMAT! nagkakaroon parin ng saysay ang LAHAT... SALAMAT! mga PARECOI!!! =)

2006-12-08T20:36:00.000+08:00

ITS JUST ME... =)

been thinking of you..
BUT a part of me is saying that enough is enough...

a part of me is crying

a part of me is breaking
AND YET

a part of me is loving...

a part of me is believing...

AND a part of me is STILL HOPING...

* i miss you... haha so soon yet so sure... if there is one thing in this world that can kill me i guess its LOVE (hahaha) mushy?? cheesy even BUT that's just me! i never grew tired of feeling 'this feeling'... IT SUCKS! hell yeah! "i know there is someone out there for me" (parang kanta lang ah!) i know that in the end i'll be a sore loser.. and actually im getting used to it... hay! kasi nman eh.. i always fall for someone who is not even willing to be there when i fall.. (that sucks!) but that is what life is bringing me.. so i guess i must have the courage to go and be merry even if it hurts.. hay! im being senseless....

***

i just wanna say that im back where i started.. haha =) if only i was brave enough to ask... hahah IF ONLY...

****

EXPECT THE UNEXPECTED... wohooo!! =)

'chillAX'

2006-12-05T23:51:00.000+08:00

MTV Homecoming in Don Bosco Academy...

Don Bosco Academy, Mabalacat, Pampanga

yun un eh.. hahaha =) Kanina lng nasa Pampanga kami... hehe kmusta nman.. ngaun e2 na ko sa bahay ngpapaka-henyo sa pg upload ng mga pics.. actually Homecoming kanina ng bassist ng banda Giniling Festival si LEC... (sila ang kumanta ng HARI NG METAL at ang aking new fave song na SILING GINILING) =) anyway, it was FUN 1st out of TOWN moment kasama ang mga IMC boys pati mga PM.. haha =)

***

nxt time tatadtarin ko ng pics.. hehe

grabe ang init sa pampanga ah!! goshness!! =) pero infairness ang GWAPO nung kambal na nkilala nmin kaso bata pa sila.. GRADE SCHOOL PA LANG!!! (pero panalo na!!) tpos the other one nman 4th yr highschool na.. finalist xa sa starstruck!!! sayang lng wla kaming pic with him kasi pauwi na xa.. hahaha his name sounds like Aljur ata.. hahaha bsta nsa starstruck xa!!! hahah GWAPO!!! =D (teka lng! may napansin ako.. prang hndi mgkatugma ung sinulat ko.. mainit tpos gwapo??? LABO!)

nga pla.. the term 'CHILLAX' came from the ever pretty Michie.. heehee mishoo na girl friend!! kmusta nman!! hahahahaha =)

************

PEACE!

best i ever had...

2006-12-03T18:33:00.000+08:00

hay... practicum life is very tiring but the contentment it gives you is simply REMARKABLE... the people you work with... the events u attend... the tasks that they give you... all the walks, runs, skips, jumps, laughs are simply irreplaceable... =) hahaha dramatic? HELL YEA!!!

***

IM TIRED... and i've only just BEGUN.. (now that sucks..) =(

***

hay... it sucks knowing that whatever you do things will never be the way you want it to.. u can't manipulate things that are present in your life... and all you can do is sit back and let the f*ck*ng tears fall... grrr! it sucks u know.. it f*ck*ng sucks... oh well.. that's life and no matter what we do with or without our PERSONAL LEGEND we still have to keep track of ourselves... aaaw!

***

it's school day tomorrow and IM EXCITED TO SEE MY BLOCKMATES!! fuckarooo!!! haven't seen you guys for 6 fuckaroo days!!! =D

***

have to go now.. still have an assignment in ethics, an exam in broad man and a radio commercial for ADMAN.. grrr! =)

***

PEACE!

********

2006-11-30T21:17:00.000+08:00

IM BACK... as if i was gone.. (duh!) anyway, we were supposed to have a shoot today for Homecoming but it was cancelled (reason/s unknown) so i had the chance to do some chores at home and do some errands for my mom.. in short ng-ojt ako sa bahay! (kmusta nman un!) haha

*******

anyway, friday and saturday is OJT day for me.. =) and im excited for it.. hehe im always excited whenever we have our ojt coz for sure we will be going to different places... for the 1st time in my life im in different places in a whole day... at first i'll be at the office (in Guadalupe Makati) then i'll be in Robinson's Pioneer and next thing i knew im in EMI records in Quezon Ave and then i see myself savoring Cibo's pasta in ABS CBN then im strolling around Rockwell then back at the office before going to Kapitolyo (i think its a village in Pasig, gawd! hindi ko pa alam kung saan un!!) hahaha =) IT WAS FUN.. although VERY TIRING... hay! came home around 2am.. BUT IT WAS FUN FUN FUN... =)

The girls, the ideal, the FLOWER (photo by sir Hermie)

*****

PEP PEP PEP PEP PEP!!! hihihi =')
*****
i miss my blockmates... hay! we don't see each other regularly due to our practicum... hay! can't wait to see ALL of you guys on monday... =)

***

wanna take this opportunity to greet all those november celebrants
~ dude
~ jae
~ markie
~ chewee
~ babi
~ ayn
~ kuya franco
~ maya
mai nalimot pa ba ko?? hala! paxenxa memory gap!! hahahah =)

***
PEACE! and i forgot! i had the chance to patch things up with a DEAR friend.. hope things will finally be alright.. =) i hope and pray for that...

**
and MR VAN is going... going... GONE... haha ='(

*
TC! aaaw!

2006-11-26T19:16:00.000+08:00

I am starting to forget...

I knew from the very beginning that it WAS THE END...

don't mind me.. im not THAT sad im just...

FORGETTING...

the art of WAITING...

2006-11-22T20:58:00.000+08:00

Im totally smitten by the movie lakehouse... gawd! (aside from the fact that Keanu Reeves is damn hot! haha) it teaches us the ART OF WAITING... the power of true love and destiny and all those mushy stuff.. hell! it was a feel-good movie... it was ROMANTIC! it made me think (again!) that we really do have to learn to WAIT and really savor every opportunity and moment given to us.. it taught me that being patient in life is something that can lead us to better things to come and things that are really worthy of all the waiting and whining.. (yes! i do whine about being patient!) haha ;) the movie gave way to a new perspective on life...

****

waiting for something, someone, a moment, a spark of something magnificent is a man's way of finding HOPE towards the unpredictable... the future will be our present and having that in mind makes me realize that 'yea!' when my future holds happy, sweet memories with someone or something then IT WILL COME and it will be MY PRESENT BUT not for now but IN THE FUTURE.. its may way of saying that im taking my life a day at a time.. :-)

*****

bumpy roads are up ahead and i know it will always be there and its a part of our existence, that is why i just take everything as a challenge of GREATER THINGS TO COME... its not the end of the road its just the beginning... 20 years and counting, more than a 100 people met, thousands of memories shared, one love lost, and tons of heartache... it all JUST BEGUN...

******

as they say the SAGA CONTINUES... :-) I will never know who i will see today, who i will meet tomorrow and who will touch my heart someday... all i know is that FOR NOW i've learned a new lesson and that is to be patient.. WAIT...

******

i actually watched MTV Homecoming awhile ago and it was actually the one we shot last week in San Mateo Rizal... :-) (we were actually there!! haha) anyway, 'KUYA Herbert' said that he realized that 'may isang bagay talaga na gustong-gusto natin na hinding-hindi magiging atin..' and i totally AGREE! that is another point in life that i just can't totally understand although i try my best to grasp its full essence.. hay! i guess im indenial that's why i just can't totally get it.. (idiot!) haha :-) anyway, its TRUE... ok fine! i guess i've had quite a few experiences that calls for that statement by kuya herbert.. ANYWAY, let's not dwell on the whole thing.. haha (it brings back the bittersweet memories) hay!

*******

another day.. another lesson.. another realization...

********

i guess its time to see the stars...

*********

PEACE!

FREAK!

2006-11-19T20:38:00.000+08:00

i was reading this friend's blog at natawa ako! she seems 'desperate' as she calls herself and i guess u know WHO iam talking about.. haha hay naku bez! kmusta ka nman dyan!! haha i find the post dramatic and for the first time im blogging about her blog.. i feel like there is too much desperation!!! my gawd! there are some things in this world that doesn't call for the let's-wait-and-see attitude it just DOESN'T... i believe that when we decide on things there is no turning back, because at that certain point when we made the DECISION there is way of saying ay! joke lang yun.. we have to answer for our actions, our decisions, our thinking... we are accountable to ourselves if people left us for our beliefs then WE have to bare the pain that comes with it coz WE MADE THE WHOLE THING POSSIBLE... i mean, yun ang ginawa mo.. hndi na mababalik ang dati dahil ang tapos ay TAPOS NA... i am not being mean im just saying the truth.. because forgetting the past is impossible and i think people will agree with me if i say that THINGS WILL NEVER BE THE SAME AGAIN.. :-( sad but its a FACT..

its sad knowing that we've hurt people and people hurt us and that is all there is in this world, PAIN and yeah there is LOVE.. hehe but we can't actually be goody-goody all the time coz its just not how the world really works.. i thought man are all good and yea they are BUT there will always be a point in OUR lives where we turn into people that we never thought we could be coz we were taken over by our emotions...

bez.. hope u won't take this seriously we've talked about it and i know its hard and all that BUT we have to face that reality that YOU also contributed to this whole circus of pain and chuervas... holding on doesn't assure you of a happy ending.. holding on to something or someone is not a proof of true friendship (im not saying your untrue) because sometimes u have to LET GO coz it causes you and others too much PAIN.. and we should all just end the whole PAIN thingy..

i hope you'll do good...

***

at HINDI AKO NANINIWALA SA EXCUSE MO!!! hahaha :-D

***

freak tayo bez!! FREAK...

***

PEACE!

2006-11-13T23:18:00.000+08:00

ewan mo at ewan natin sinong may pakana?

at bakit ba tumilapon ang SPOLIARIUM
dyan sa paligid mo....

at ngaun di parin alam
kung bakit tayo andito
pwede bang itigil muna

ang pag-ikot ng mundo

****

nevermind the above words... they are actually taken from the song SPOLIARIUM by the Eraserheads... :-) anyway, im currently feeling a little down... hrmm.. i guess there is to much sadness going around MY world today... from friends to pets seems like nothing looks right, nothing FEELS right... hay! my heart goes out to you friends.. i may not be feeling the PAIN you are having but as I always say I WILL ALWAYS BE AROUND... ready to hear your pains, grief.. i know i know i had a post that is a little dramatic about having MY OWN TIME... but then i realized that listening to them whine and stuff makes up a PART of my world.. and honestly i kinda missed the whining and complaining... haha weird BUT true...

****

2morow dhang and myself will strut our stuff at the office... haha actually we just want to get this practicum over it.. (parang ang sama ng dating! haha) but really, i want to end my practicum already so that i can focus more on my OTHER RESPONSIBILITIES... hay! ideal minds here I/WE come.. haha :-)

****

what is up with me? hrmm.. im fine.. haha :-) and i never thought that giving myself time and space (asus! may ganung pagdadrama) i was able to give myself the moment to breathe.. and yea! im fine.. i've learned to balance things, situations, people and other stuff... although the balancing of my responsibilities is a little shaky right now.. (biglang bawi sa balance! haha) BUT all in all i am HAPPY.. :-)

****

learn to live a life that is free of conflict... live a life that never ceases... live a life that is full of hope... live a life that is in full dedication to the Almighty Father... and live a life that is FREE of harm and is governed by LOVE and RESPECT for yourself and for others... :-D i believe that then and only then will you be able to say that you've achieved PEACE OF MIND... ;-)

****

PEACE!

****

p.s. goodluck dudie... hope u'll rock the house down during the kotex competition.. you guys can do it!! BRAVOOOO broad journ!! :-)

inaway mo si tagpi

2006-11-12T18:57:00.000+08:00

I HATE YOU!!!

isprayan ba daw ng baygon!! kala mo.. MAKAKARMA KA DIN!!!!
maingay.. pasalamat ka hndi ka nmin kilala at malayo kami sa kinakatayuan mo...

MAKAKARMA KA!!! ramdam ko..

halo-halo

2006-11-11T22:10:00.000+08:00

selfishness is one thing that my mom is always telling me to AVOID... Im no saint and I WILL NEVER BE but i try my best to live up to my parents' expectations... i will not be a FAILURE and if it means staying with positive people THAT I WILL DO... i don't want to be miss perfect coz that i will never achieve but i'll try my best to be atleast CLOSE to perfect... anyway, its funny how things go out of hand and there are some things that you can't control.. one of which is our perception of things... what i really want to say is not properly taken by the other person.. its kinda frustrating knowing that there are certain barriers in communication.. hay! barriers tlaga! pasaway... anyhow, there aren't any excuse when you've made a wrong accusation on things...

ENOUGH SAID...

****

last wednesday was my first practicum day... BOY! was it F-U-N!!! had a BLAST and im looking forward in attending another event SOON... haha :-) it was an 'its a guy thing' eyeball party held at the Mugen Bar in Metrowalk, Ortigas.. hay my gawd!! had a great time... although there were certain 'bad moments' i still had fun.. there were FREAKAZOIDS, gays, almost naked ladies, CUTIES, YUMMIES, PAPIES, pretty ladies (ahem!), new acquaintances and of course the beautiful bubbles paraiso! the cuties borgy manotoc, ketchup eusebio and john joe joseph.. :-D hay! it was my first official night out.. hahaha :-) reaching the age of 20 and its my first time.. hay! what a weirdo.. hahaha (nevermind what i just said!) even met an acquaintance who reminds me of sam milby... hahaha :-) (oh! wag bigyang kulay!! hahaha) feeling na ba?? hahaha paxenxa na..

****

im currently into this book.. its A MILLION LITTLE PIECES by James Frey i guess i've mentioned that book in a previous post.. anyway, i love the book! tried and tested books part of the Oprah book club are must-haves!! harhar :-) and after i finish this book i wanna start on a new one but i still have to look for it.. Night by Professor Elie Wiesel.. ;-)

****

i guess i've mentioned before that I LOVE THE ERASERHEADS!! and i already had my dream cd the ultraelectromagneticJAM cd.. haha and my 2 fave tracks as of the moment is the version of imago of the song SPOLIARIUM.. and Francis M's version of SUPERPROXY.. aaaw! (reminds me of something!! haha)

****

our thesis defense sked was already released.. ours is scheduled on December 2; 5pm... hay! im nervous.. but we will never know our mistakes if we are 'confronted' by our panelists... haha :-D goodluck to us T-BUDS...

****

gusto ko ng HALO-HALO ngayon! lalo na ung galing sa DIGMAN!!! hay! da best halo-halo in town!! hay! just like my new entry.. halo-halo.. :-D

****

PEACE!

being myself.. whatever!

2006-11-05T17:50:00.000+08:00

i remember back in the old days when i used to talk like there is NO tomorrow and laugh as if my end is near.. haha how stupid i looked and how irrational i was.. hay! back then some people see me as someone who is INSENSITIVE.. someone who never took the chance to even apologize to those peope i've hurt... stupid as it may seem, evil as you may see it is BUT THAT WAS WHO IAM..

NOW...i heard someone say that "..this is who iam"... "im just being myself" and it sparked a thought... haha i used to say that same thing.. people love me for "being me" and its funny coz i had some friends whom i never thought will even be part of my so-called 'inner circle'.. although my real friends (bru club in the house! haha) are there to keep me grounded i knew somewhere in the four walls of my former school some of them HATE me... Still i managed to make fun of them, laugh about their 'snappy-ness' (if there is such a word, but i know hi-skool buds will understand this term) :-)... yea. yea! what the hell am i talking about.. haha the bottom line is there is a boundary in screaming to the world that THIS IS WHO IAM.. take it or leave it.. sometimes its not bad accepting who you are and what you stand for but somewhere along your way you will get into situations that doesn't need your 'slogan' in life...

haha :-) i may sound to 'oprah-ish' (whatta?!) haha but really there are times when being so into your self is not THAT GOOD... flaunting into the world that this is ME is not that hrmm awesome coz you'll always get into the point wherein you've hurt someone without even knowing it or u've acknowledged the fact that you've hurt someone BUT you keep on running back to the fact that "THIS IS ME" and if you can't accept it then that is your problem.. *sigh*

been there...

actually, the one who triggered this whole realization is the book.. 'A MILLION LITTLE PIECES' by James Frey.. its an account about a drug addict/alcoholic/criminal who was flown to a Clinic in Minnessota almost dead.. he had a broken nose, almost lost all his teeth, had a hole in his cheek, he seems like deteriorating ALIVE.. anyway, im not yet done with the book but he reminded me of someone.. SOMEONE I KNOW REALLY WELL... ME.. haha :-) although IM NOT AN ADDICT/ALCOHOLIC/CRIMINAL...(okie..) but the way he shoved other people because of his selfishness reminded me of MY SELFISHNESS... being strong-headed... bout being 'IM WHO IAM'...

im not saying you should change.. just be SENSITIVE enough with what you do and say...

a friendly reminder brough to you by: missbodestyne.blogspot.com (hahaha) whatever!!

nothing

2006-11-02T19:10:00.000+08:00

A woman's heart is a deep ocean, full of secrets... ~ author unknown

****

can think of anything to do so... mgsurvey nlng tau.. haha

*****

: TEN EMOTIONS.

1. are you missing someone right now?

= hell yeah
2. are you happy

= yea
3. are you talking to anyone right now?

= nope
4. are you bored?

= oo
5. are you german?

= dutch
6. are younope

= ha.. ano daw??
7. are you spanish?

= 1/8 of me..
8. are you asian?

= yea!
9. are your parents still married?

= very much...
10. do you like someone right now?

= harhahar :-) (enuf said)

TEN FAVORITES.

1. televison show:

= oprah primetime
2. flower:

= tulips... :-)
3. color:

= pink, red, blue...
4. sport:

= basketball
5. mall:

= MOA, Ayala malls.. cge na nga! southmall.. haha
6. music:

= rNb, opm, mostly love songs.. hehe
7. food:

= yaw ko ng mxadong matamis...
8. season:

= spring
9. animal:

= dogs, koalas, polar bears (cubs).. hehe
10. state:

= CHICAGO!

***

TEN FACTS.

1. hometown:

= LAS PINAS CITY
2. hair color:

= brown/black
3. perfume:

= be... kissable.. :-)
4. hair style:

= layered..
5. eye color:

= brown..
6. shoe size:

= ranges from 7 to 8 depending on the shoe style.. ;)
7. mood:

= hrmmm.. STEADY lng..
8. skin color:

= tan..
9. available?:

= YEA.. haha
10. lefty/righty:

= righty..

****

TEN THINGS ABOUT YOUR LOVE LIFE.

1. have you ever been in love?

= think so.. haha
2. do you believe in love?

= yea
3. why did your last relationship fail?

= zzzzzzzzz

4. have you ever been heartbroken?

= next question please.. ;)
5. have you ever broken someone's heart?

= i dunno.. ask them.. haha
6. have you ever fallen for one of your bestfriends?

= i dunno.. haha
7. have you ever liked someone but never told them?

= does akie count?
8. are you afraid of commitment?

= don't think so..
9. has someone ever kissed your hand?

= harhar
10. have you ever had a secret admirer?

= HELLO??? SECRET admirer nga dba??? kmusta nman!

*****

TEN THINGS: THIS OR THAT.
1. love or lust:

= love..
2. hard liquor or beer:

= beer
3. night or day:

= day..
4. one night stands or relationships:

= relationships

5. television or internet:

= tv
6. pepsi or coke:

= coke...
7. wild night out or romantic night in:-

= romantic..
8. colored pictures or black and whitepictures:

= black and white..
9. phone or in person:

= in person..
10. friendster or myspace:

= MULTIPLY

******
TEN HAVE Y0U EVER's.

1. have you ever been caught sneaking out?= n0pe..
2. have you ever skinny dipped?= NOPE! haha
3. have you ever done something you regret?= none that i can think of
4. have you ever bungee jumped?= nope.. but dreamin' of experiencing it..
5. have you ever been on a house boat?= n0pe
6. have you ever finished an entire jaw breaker?= nope
7. have you ever wanted someone so badly it hurt?= i did..
9. have you ever danced in the rain?= yea..
10. have you ever had a hang over?= n0pe...

FINALLY

2006-10-31T21:21:00.000+08:00

waaah! the call i've been waiting for has FINALLY arrived... haha :-) i'll be having my practicum in ideal minds... :-D im happy coz finally my worries are gone BUT im SAD coz some of my friends haven't received any call yet.. i want to experience this practicum with them.. grrr! this sucks.. hope we'll all have our practicum in ideal minds... hay..

****

speaking of practicum, dhang told me that we will have to report to the office this coming monday (a.k.a 1st day of class) coz we will be preparing for an event... waaah! kasama kami sa show na its a guy thing!!! hala!! kmusta nman!! ANG SAYA... haha :-) GAWD!! anyway, the said event will take place on wednesday (next week).. hay.. sobrang excited tlaga ako.. at HAPPY dahil finally my practicum site na ko...

*****

sana tlaga makasama ko sina eure, babi at ruth sa ideal minds.. ;-)

******

p.s. hndi n nman gumagana ang aking spacing.. grrr!

its MY TIME...

2006-10-29T00:35:00.000+08:00

finding yourself... wheeew! that is a tough one.. i mean how can you find yourself when u are actually unaware that YOU were even LOST... i guess that is THE PROBLEM.. hay! there are some things in this world that are way beyond are understanding and sometimes being a predicament identical to others may help boost our understanding on things..

***

HELL YEAH! haha

***

hay! i had my fair share of experience FOR NOW.. i am not saying that I KNOW EVERYTHING coz I DON'T and im no poser.. harhar anyway, i guess i just want to be invisible to some people for a while.. take a breather and have the opportunity to savor the ESSENCE of MY EXISTENCE... im tired of taking care of other people's business.. i mean LISTENING... LISTENING... LISTENING... LISTENING... i know a lot of people tell me that its my FORTE and i even remember ayn telling me back then that "salamat sa pakikinig" and i appreciate that.. BUT i guess its time for me to LISTEN TO MYSELF.. what my heart has been yearning to HEAR, FEEL, SEE.. hay!

its my chance to be MYSELF.. to answer to MYSELF and to understand MYSELF.. its not that i will not listen to anyone anymore because it will make matters worst.. haha (labo!) i just want to be FREE for a while.. :-) does it even makes sense to you? i guess not.. hehe but i hope it makes you think.. think about YOURSELF and what you REALLY FEEL... coz its hard to be yourself when you don't even know what your HEART IS YEARNING FOR.. ;-)

crunch time

2006-10-27T13:52:00.000+08:00

addendum day is FAST APPROACHING... my gawd!! and our thesis is not that good as of now.. haha :-) i guess LORD WILL HAVE MERCY ON US mere mortals... hay!

****

anyway, i had the chance to have a 'light' conversation with a long lost friend of mine... heehee I MISS HER.. haha and i know we kinda had a misunderstanding a year ago.. BUT gosh! i miss her dearly... hay! IYA kmustasa ka nman dyan.. minsan punta ka La Salle pra ma reunite nman ang AUTOGALS... heehee

****

off i go.. i need to talk to by ka-"T-BUDS"... thesis matters.. haha

*******

PEACE!

huhmmm...

2006-10-25T19:31:00.000+08:00

i don't know who to trust...

seems like there is no one out there who can be trusted... what happened to LOYALTY... FRIENDSHIP... whatta???

another day another discovery... another moment to contemplate...

****
tomorrow's ojt day.. or should i say application day... heehee :-) excited.. YET SCARED... what if all slots are already taken.. my gawd!!!! ahahaha

thoughtless

2006-10-22T19:13:00.000+08:00

honestly i can't think of anything to write... hay! IM BORED.. haha and im doing what i do best blog hoppin'.. harhar :-) and i realized that i've been a blog addict for quite some time now.. i remember my first ever blog site was LIVEJOURNAL.. hehe back when i was a total IGNORAMUS.. haha then BLOGSPOT was introduced to me and it was a site that up until now i keep to myself.. hehe then i was fascinated with FRIENDSTER BLOGS, had around 80 posts there i think.. heehee ;) then i had a 'moment' with XANGA, it didn't last though coz BLOGSPOT WON MY HEART thus i had missbodestyne.blogspot.com... :-)

***

anyway, my posts became my refuge and ALL this time i poured my heart into every entry i publish.. whether its about hate, love, friendship, adventures, etc... i ALWAYS type what my heart wants me to type... hehe :-) i guess that is the one thing that we can't take away from bloggers their HEART.. the PASSION to express and be HEARD... it may be about their opinion on the latest political issue/s or maybe about their respective lives.. i guess WE (bloggers) see it that way.. haha :-)

***

it feels good knowing that people READ and HEAR what you are saying.. its like they take you in... hay! your truth your everything (that is present in the post..) :-) its really worth it when you get to spread the WORD.. for me that is OUR prerogative to express.. (those this make sense?!) haha whatever... :D

***

i guess its time to end this post.. i thought i said that i can't think of anything to type.. hay! my gawd!! haha :-)

****

PEACE!

*****

ciao!

2006-10-22T19:08:00.000+08:00

hay! i super miss my pamangkins.. hehe

ultraelectromagnetic BIRTHDAY GIRL...

2006-10-20T23:36:00.000+08:00

my gawd! im twenTEEN.. haha :-D i thank everyone who remembered my SPECIAL DAY.. thank you... :-D to everyone who made an effort to reach me and tell me that they wish me a HAPPY BIRTHDAY... THANK YOU.. (naiiyak ako!!) :-)

it was a different birthday for me.. why? coz it seemed like any ordinary day BUT when this certain someone texted me it kinda made my day.. haha i guess it just shows that there really is nothing that can break a TRUE friendship... hay.. :-)

to those who celebrated with me.. THANK YOU.. khit lima lang tayo... MASAYA AKO... :-)

SALAMAT!!

another year, another chance to be ME.. thank you LORD.. You never left me BEHIND.. :-)

-hate-

2006-10-09T23:03:00.000+08:00

i hate it when ur right...

i hate it when ur wrong...

i can't accept the fact that we are on twilight zone.. (ano daw?!)

i know when you are around

and i know im going to frown...

why can't i just accept the fact

that u already part of someonelse's pact

i guess only time will tell

when i will REALLY FEEL WELL... (hay! stupid rhyming... hahaha)

***

i know i know its too darn dramatic but HEY! it made me feel ok.. heehee :-)

read on...

2006-10-07T21:55:00.000+08:00

my mom used to tell me that be AWARE of everything that is happening around you... "bawal ang tanga sa mundo.." hahaha if you've been reading my blogs way waaaaaaaaaaay back in my xanga days i wrote an entry there about my beliefs in life.. haha (remember?!) and ONE of them is that MAN IS ESSENTIALLY GOOD... well, a part of me is saying that it is TRUE and that IM NOT WRONG WHEN I SAID THAT but another part of me says that ITS A LIE... i can't help but think that people really are NOT THAT GOOD... a part of human existence is the fact that WE ARE NOT PERFECT... and as what my idol Oprah Winfrey always say that there STILL are some things that are COMMON to us HUMANS... the likes of pain, make up! (yes! u've read it right!!), failure, etc... we are still at the same level... no one deserves to feel that they are UP THERE and others are WAY DOWN the ladder...

WE ARE ALL EQUAL... YES! we are.. and if there is one thing that we SHOULD ALL KNOW is that... YOU CAN NEVER BE INCONTROL OF ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING... i/we/you can try but i/we/you can never win...

i guess if someone get's away we it there is still KARMA to back the oppressed people up... LEARN to be aware of what u SAY OR HEAR... learn to be more sensitive with the words that come out of ur mouth or even your mind... sabi ng nanay ko bawal daw magsinungaling dahil ang sabi sa sampung utos BAWAL MAG-SINUNGALING.. kaya hangga't kaya ko sinasabi ko ang totoo dahil ayokong maKARMA sa huli... hindi ako perpekto dahil WALANG TAONG NABUBUHAY NA PERPEKTO... :-)

*****
hay!

stunned

2006-10-02T16:46:00.000+08:00

today is CRUGGY's BOIDAY!!! hapi BOIDAY!!! yipeee!! i can smell some LIBRE.. haha :-)
***
moving on...
***
MILENYO.. hay! it caused massive power blackout in LUZON and it killed a lot of lives and livestock.. hay! it just shows how strong mother nature can be.. i guess its 'pay back' time for us mere mortals who are slowly destroying our very own mother.. not only was the metropolis devastated by the storm but also my dear school.. YES! La Salle-Dasma was 'badly damaged'... because of that we don't have classes today AND tomorrow! (yehey?!!-NOT!!!) that is the 'worst' news i've heard today... waaah! coz NO CLASSES MEAN DELAY in everything that I/WE ARE ABOUT TO DO... grrrr... now that problem is this...

HOW IN THE WORLD WILL WE BE ABLE TO PASS OUR REQUIREMENTS...

hay... its a BIG GRRRRR... hay! i know its a natural thing and i UNDERSTAND that.. its just that its taking MUCH OF OUR TIME... waaaah!! deadlines are fast approaching... waaaaah!!!!

***
IM STUNNED coz next week is FINALS week.. i still have a lot of tasks to do.. (pero sa ka ng-boblog ako.. hahaha)....

~ i have to pass a script (1st draft) for our IJ project... and since there are no classes tomorrow i don't how i will pass the freakin' script (ayn! email ko na lng..) hahaay!

~ i have a project in RIZAL which is due on thursday and its not an 'easy' project... hay!

~ there are 2 reaction papers which are due this week.. actually IJ's deadline is tomorrow SINCE there are no classes I/WE are SAVED.. then videopost's deadline was last thursday but milenyo came so classes were suspended.. SAVED again...

~ we're (my group in docu) are still NOT DONE with our docu project we were supposed to climb MT. PICO but as i've said it was postponed.. anyway, deadline nun ay nxt week... waaah!

~ i have a BJPC task to do.. i have to make a rationale or was it two for the BRJM thingy..

~ T-BUDS mania!! our thesis is STILL NOT FINISHED.. hay! that's another problem...
*****

grrr.. im starting to feel the HAGGARD FEELING again.. waaah!!

*****

waaaah!!! im soooo STUNNED!!!

-untitled-

2006-10-01T19:43:00.000+08:00

IM BACK... yes! after a power blackout that lasted for 3 days im here again.. yipeee!! heehee :-) well i missed using brando sooo im really excited typing my thoughts... haha :-D

i've been blog hoppin' AGAIN.. hehe and i saw a lot of posts.. haha (malamang!) and i can't help but feel HELPLESS.. hay! i mean, there really are some things that are out of my/our control and that is HUMAN EMOTION.. the feelings that we have are things that are spontaneous thus hard to direct. I respect the fact that we get hurt, we cry, we feel anger, we feel stupid but we MUST HEAL... maybe not now, maybe not in the near future BUT IN TIME... My heart goes out to people who are in doubt, who are hurt, who are down, who are missing a certain piece (just like me!), and those who are trying to heal... I don't want to seem like a smart *ss but i just wanna HELP in one way or another.. hay! that's my piece.. heehee

***

MOVING ON...

***

AS i've said IAM ALSO MISSING A PIECE.. well.. let's just say that im looking out for someone's AFTERGLOW.. (gawd! i love that song!) and the STARS (i also love that song!) anyway, yea i miss that f*ckin person and i miss this person A WHOLE LOT.. hahaha :-) if this person only knew then everything will FINALLY be alright.. haha

***

NEXT STOP...

***

our mountain trip was postponed due to MILENYO.. hay! if we did continue on our trip this will be the headline: Limang estudyante ng La Salle-Dasma namataang gumugulong sa MT. PICO DE LORO... - kung di ba nman mga sira alam na nabagyo nagmagaling umakyat ng bundok.. hahaha :-) anyway, there is a reason for everything.. hehe

***

AND NOW...

***

I just want to be free.. haha (what the F!) well.. I WANNA COME HOME and say that HERE I AM LOST IN THE ASHES OF TIME BUT WHO OWNS TOMORROW and shout to the world IF ONLY U COULD HEAR ME SHOUT YOUR NAME...

***

PAKSHET...

***

as usual the spacing IS AGAIN NOT WORKING.. grrr.. and i can't think of a proper title.. so there..

***

PAKSHET...

-nothing-

2006-09-27T22:45:00.000+08:00

feeling low...

...mixed emotions..

...unable to elaborate...

...people STINK...

...and im sad coz im ONE of them...

hay! thank God we don't have classes tomorrow...

.....my stomach HURTS!! curse you PANCIT CANTON!!!! waaaaah

picture picture!!

2006-09-24T21:28:00.000+08:00

heehee :-) this photo was taken in CHCC, Batulao, Batangas.. i actually 'stole' the photo from fitch's multiply site.. haha :-) (thanks fitch!!) its a FUNNY picture or should a say WACKY.. haha i was actually fascinated with how it turned out kasi i didn't know na marami pala ung nakasama sa pic.. haha :-) i think si MJ ung ng-take ng pic na to.. hay! it was a BLAST!! i think i didn't have the opportunity to write a letter to all my blockmates.. hay! sorry guys!! masyado akong na-excite sa sights ng charles huang.. hehe :-) anyway, i will miss these guys.. waaah! although we still have A LOT OF TIME to be together, time flies so fast and time will come that we'll all leave.. hay! enuf drama!! hahaha i don't think everybody was present in this picture.. anyway, let's evaluate each person present in this pic.. starting from the top left.. hehehe

FRANCIS 'fitch' Capua... aaaw! ang taray ng pose.. hahaha pra lang FAN.. heehee love you!

DUSTIN 'lologurl' Carbonera... pouty pouty.. heehee cutie cutie lolo gurlie...

AIRIS 'mamaris' Fajardo... pretty pretty... pinkie!! :-)

AYEEN 'yn-yn' Valdezco... 'posie-posie' model-modellie.. haha (mai sense ba??) lovie lovie..

CYRA 'dudie' Caparros... shadie-shadie.. puro fuweetieee!! ahahahay!!

ROXY 'summerbaby' Payumo... macho-machohan ang facilitator nmin.. mwaah!

ILET 'mumoo' Ogot... pula-pulahan ang masculada.. heehee

PURPLE 'repapeeps' Romero... cutie-cutiehan.. pahawak-hawak pa sa chin.. haha mr pogi!

DIANE 'dhang' Bejosano... puti-putian.. demure daw kunwari.. 'DHONG' nman pagkainan na!

GLEN 'babi' Red... pinkie-pinkiehan.. cutie-cutiehan.. heehee

TIFANNY 'tiffy' Pabalate... beauty.. just like ME.. hahahahahaha

ELEU 'lulu' Malabanan... uy! feeling quiet.. hahaha pero gusto naked ang shot.. haha :-D

MIA 'ako un!!' Bodestyne... fatty-fatty PERO pretty-pretty.. hahahaha XD

RUTH 'boobFEW' Maranan... loka-loka.. pouty pouty parang si lologurl pero mukha special kid!

MARS 'mamamars' Opulencia... pa-tweetums.. hehe :-) smiley-smiley.. aaaaw!

LHEN 'mamalhen' Ocayo... siya actually ang STAR sa pic na ito.. kmi ang kanyang mga FANS..

CHERYL 'che-che' Adami... ngiting-ngiti.. prang binigyan ng turon.. hehe love you!!!

MAY 'maya' Dayon... pretty pretty... aaaw! DANDA tlaga.. :-D

CAMILLE 'cruggy' Topacio... lovie lovie camsee!! curly-curly.. pretty-pretty.. aaaaw!

ALLAN 'dude' Arato... posie-posie, model-modellie like the wifey.. heehee :-)

EURE 'bez' Tumangday... happy-happy.. feeling pretty... pero totoo nman! kmukha nyan si Angel Locsin... aaaaaw!

aaaah!!! i LOVE all of YAH.. heehee TRUE..

my problem in life is YOU..

2006-09-22T23:43:00.000+08:00

im currently reading this book entitled Saving my first kiss by Lisa Velthouse, and im really fascinated by it.. :-) there was this certain chapter,chapter 9 to be exact that caught my attention.. it was about sexual purity.. but the main topic that got me hooked was the idea of having certain stages before u reach 'the main event'.. although there really is NO SUCH thing as stages in sexual intimacy, still there are certain levels into it... and we people tend to skip the levels that we end up playing 'the main event'...

OK FINE.. i'll be more specific.. hay!

we all know that we follow certain procedures in order to arrive to a specific conclusion... even science follows the 'famous' scientific method.. from observation down to conclusion that is how it is and NOT the other way around... I know that we are NOT lab rats that should be put under the microscope and undergo the scientific method... BUT we should be open in idea that in 'judging' people we should be able to observe first before u make a conclusion... hay!

honestly, i don't even know why people are so addicted in making false judgments on people.. do u know them that WELL that u can say what is on her/his mind... are u the type of person who can read through their minds... if u are?? gawddammit.. maybe u will know WHO U ARE... (in this entry that is..)

hay! i really don't wanna deal with it really... im just DISAPPOINTED... VERY VERY VERY DISAPPOINTED... i thought this person knew better, i thought this person knew what is the real essence of living... hay! i just hope that it is not too late for this person... coz if time comes that karma will finally come and get this person i hope that this person can handle it..mia! just shut up.. hahaha :-) u've disappointed me.. big time!! I may not matter to you, but u did disappoint me.. i fell bad... :-(

the freakin' spacing is AGAIN not working properly... pakshet! oh well, i can't do anything about it.. hehehe :-)

~toodles~

mirror mirror on the wall..

2006-09-21T23:02:00.000+08:00

i've read many times before that TRUE FRIENDS are HARD to find.. and i've NEVER thought that IT CAN REALLY HAPPEN... i thought it was IMPOSSIBLE.. i guess I WAS WRONG...

***

random thoughts on friendship from someone who values it SO MUCH...

***

yes! it shocked me, knowing that some things like 'that' can happen for as long as i/we can even remember.. (curious? just read this entry..) IAM DISAPPOINTED... and i can't deny the fact that the reason or arguement being raised is really INVALID..

***

oh well.. i can't do anything about it.. i mean, its none of my business BUT i really am disheartened... hay! the question now is.. WHY?

*****

speaking of 'friendship'... it clearly shows how different people can be and how they handle their social activities/responsibilties...

***

friendship for me is something that you should take seriously because it is A RELATIONSHIP between two people or a group of people... and its not something that you can take back... once u have it with someone you should be open to the ups and downs of 'that relationship'...

u can never underestimate the power of TRUE/REAL friendship... sometimes, the ones you consider as people who 'understands' are NOT really ur friends... i mean, they may 'understand' BUT they are not putting u and at the RIGHT STATE OF MIND...

iam tired of hearing people blaming their friends because they [friends] were not around for them.. HELL! you should learn how to LIVE UR LIFE, NO ONE SHOULD EVER TELL YOU WHAT U HAVE TO DO..

maybe ur confused and need someone who 'understands'... he may
understand BUT he may not care, maybe he does but his line of reasoning is
WRONG... maturity comes with age, we are not getting any younger LEARN to live
on ur own, decide on ur own, and be MATURE...

if you hate us for being FRANK then so be it.. coz the truth really hurts and sometimes the 'mouths' that slap u with words that burns ur skin are the 'mouths' of people who REALLY CARE.. they arte the ones who are TRYING TO UNDERSTAND... they are ones giving u the perspective that YOU CAN'T SEE.... they are showing what u should see coz there is MORE TO LIFE THAN WHAT UR CURRENTLY LIVING... u've done it again... u've just changed the date and the people involved but its ALL THE SAME... SAME OLD SAME OLD.. hell!

it was like a 'light bulb' literally sparking... THAT in this world, it REALLY IS HARD TO KNOW IF THE PERSON STANDING IN FRONT OF YOU IS A TRUE FRIEND...

hay! people... GROW UP...

p.s. i've changed the color... pink! pink! pink!!

para sa iyo..

2006-09-16T09:48:00.000+08:00

sabi nila ang panahon ay mabilis... ngaun makikita mo mamaya lamang wala na... sa bawat oras na lumilipas may dumarating at mayroon din namang umaalis... sa bawat paglisan may panibagong bukas na haharapin, hindi man natin matanggap ang kanilang paglisan ngunit ito lamang ang tanging paraan upang masimulan na ang bagong bukas...

Para saan pa ang pagsasama kung ito rin pala ay matatapos lang din.. para saan pa ang mga pagkakataong inilaan para sa isa't isa kung balewala rin pala ito sa huli.... para saan pa ang kaligayahan kung darating din pala ang araw na tayo'y luluha't luluha pa rin... :-(

bilangin mo ang panahon lumipas... 19 na taon... 4 na taon... 2 buwan... 2 linggo... kahapon... nasaan na ba ako? tayo? sila? tao parin ba tayo... o ngpapakatao na lamang... asan na ang 'sense' ng post na ito.. napag-iwanan na ata ako ng panahon dahil hindi ko na kilala ang taong nasa harap ko.. nasaan na ang pinagsamahan, o namali lang talaga ako ng pagkakilala nung simula pa lamang...

malapit na ang katapusan ng masayang nobela na ito.. nobela na binuo ng apat na taon na para bang buong buhay na pinaghirapan... maraming SAYA, LUNGKOT, GALIT... pero nakabuo ng isang MAKULAY NA PAGSASADULA NG TUNAY NA BUHAY...

siguro nga kasama na ng ating pagkatao ang lumuha at tumawa.. hindi ko ito ginawa upang iparamdam sa inyo na nalulungkot ako... DAHIL HINDI AKO MALUNGKOT... natutuwa ako dahil alam ko na sa araw na maisulat na ang huling kabanata ng nobela na ito ay bubuksan na ang panibagong yugto ng AKING NOBELA...

p.s.. ayn, malakas ang tama sakin ng isa mong post na tagalog.. kaya ito nahawa na ko.. hehe :-) peanut brittle ko.. haha

i miss...

2006-09-13T10:40:00.000+08:00

MY HIGHSCHOOL BARKADA... i miss them dearly.. i haven't seen them since summer ended and school started.. paksh*t! i miss the laughtrips.. the kulitan sessions and the senseless conversations we use to have.. gossips and serious stuff na we use to talk about.. waaah! i wanna see you guys... lapit na birthday ko.. KITA TAU!!

***

TACO BELL.. ampooch!! i wanna eat one right now! i wanna have a cheesy burrito.. grrr!! naglalaway na ko.. grr..

***

MY SISTER AND MY PAMANGKINS... i wanna see them NOW.. <npakademanding ko nman ngaung araw na to..> i miss them.. hay! how i wish they can celebrate new year's eve with us this year.. hay.. i miss the kakulitan of my crazy pamangkins... i wanna be with my sister now.. waaaah! i guess there is a part of me that went along with them... hay!

***

MY STAR... of all the people that i barely even know, this person really makes me miss him BAD... i miss staring at him and admiring him.. I WANNA SEE HIM... grrr! if there is a thing that i wanna do right now that is to skip class and GO OUT AND LOOK FOR HIM... if i could I WOULD.. i wanna be with him.. grrr.. it drives me crazy... it really does.. i think he lives in parañaque... or somewhere in las pinas or somewhere in between.. please play the organ for me... waaah!! hay!

***

MYSELF... yes! i miss myself.. i've changed this not who I WAS BACK IN THE OLD DAYS... im not the mia i used to be.. i guess things change.. people change.. i guess mine was something that i didn't see coming.. although i love the fact that im a little more laidback now.. a little quiet.. YES! if u knew me back then u will hate me coz i was like a palingkera hay! and i was really L-O-U-D.. hahaha my testimonials in friendster will prove that particularly the ones that came from my highschool friends.. :-)

i missed myself when i laughed really hard last saturday.. dahil kay sunny heart.. i haven't laughed THAT HARD since highschool.. that's why i really appreciated the fact that fitch is around coz he reminds me of WHO I WAS... the insensitive, selfish BITCH.. haha the one who laughs about anything and anyone who i consider to be the worthy of being the 'laughing stock' haha anyway, it may seem mean BUT i miss myself...

***

ALTHOUGH... i find the 'new' me BETTER.. heehee

****

p.s.:: the freakin' spacing is AGAIN not working properly.. grrr.. kmusta nman..

aaaw!

2006-09-10T20:53:00.000+08:00

mai hinahanap akong lyrics ngaun.. hehe wait lng.. kso hindi ko kasi maalala ung title kya goodluck nman sakin.. hahaha :-) AT mai tinitignan aq.. (oi! hndi to bastos!! LOKO) hahaha :-) at hindi ko MAHANAP... grrr.. kmusta nman un.. anyway.. ung gs2 kong part nung song na yun ay ito..

tuloy parin ang awit
ng buhay ko.. magbago man ang hugis ng puso mo.. BASTA TULOY
PARIN..

hay! hindi ko alam kung anong nangyari bkit ngkagnito na tong kasunod.. hahaha.. dapat nakasagad sa dulo.. hay! whatever na nga lang.. hahaha :-) (hyper ako noh??) ewan ko ba.. 'holy' kasi dahil sa retreat... aaaw!!

speaking of retreat.. if i would describe it in one word it would be... SCANDALOUS... hahahaha :-D kaw ba nman ang mapagalitan ng mga madre dahil sa pagdaan sa bintana!! haha at manguha ng pagkain sa dining hall at dalin sa room at doon ngatain.. haha hay naku! kmusta nman un.. :-) AT.. meron pa.. pero samin na lang un.. hahahahah ;-D

it was a remarkable retreat.. hay! tska na lng mg-dadrama... hehehe :-) hay! i love spending the night with my roomies.. 'pagkaKULIT ni RUTHA!! grrr' kaw ba nman ang rape-in ng ganun!!! waaaah... hahahahahaha :-)

ung pictures?? sa multiply n lng cguro.. at mangunguha lng din ako sa account ng iba.. hahaha wla kz batt si lotty (digi cam) nung friday eh... (ang tanga ko dba?!) hahaha

love y'all!!!!!

JOURNZEROSEVEN astig!

p.s. with a smile ung kanta ngaun.. heehee :-) mai ngpaparamdam!!!! hahaha BOOM!

feeesh...

2006-09-04T22:31:00.000+08:00

my face is kinda itchy right now.. i guess its because of the make-up used knina sa pictorial for our grad pic.. yahoo!! :-) AKALAIN MO.. hahaha :-) anyway, i really don't wanna elaborate on my toga pic.. hay! mukha akong komedyante... hahahahhahaha :-) anyway, my concept pic rocks!! hahahah whatever.. :-)

****
natuwa ako!! kz i saw a friend's blog recently.. heehee and feeling ko alam na nya kung sino xa!! haha and HER (aaw! babae ka.. hahaha) 2 recent posts is partly about ME... it flattered me that someone FELT THAT MUCH about me and my 'singledom'.. hahahay!! :-) it did MADE ME SMILE AND HAPPY.. hay.. thank you po!! :-) ng-comment na nman ako 2ngkol dun dba?? haha :-)

****
kring, thanks po ah.. hehe hndi na ko nakakatxt at nkakamsg sau sa friendster.. ang HAGGARD ng week na lumipas at ang week na ito.. KMUSTA NMAN ANG BUHAY??? grrrr.. love yah!! hope to be with yah soon.. yey!!

****
super girl!!! kmusta ka nman.. DANDA nya kanina.. heehee :-) hay.. i hope that someday everything will be alright.. :-) thanks bez!! ur simply the best.. harharhar

****
ang babaing BAKLA.. oi ruth! sana mabasa mo to.. haha namiss kita.. akalain mong tahimik ang mundo ko nung wla ka..hahaha at ngaun na bumalik ka na balik sa BALIW mode and life ko.. haha :-)

****
dhang, hay! hndi tau ngkita knina.. un lang.. hahaha :-) haggard ka n nman.. kalma lang!! see you.. mwaaah :-)

****
blog neighbor.. uy! sana mahulaan nya kung sino xa.. hahaa HI!! thanks for always droppin' by.. hehe :-) PEACE...

****
starry starry night.. i wish i may i wish i might have my STAR come to my life.. hahaha :-)

****
PEACE..

buzz

2006-09-02T22:50:00.000+08:00

i had the most excruciating week so far.. hay! it was totally HAGGARDOUS as we (journ people) call it.. gawd!!! for 3 consecutive days we've been 'strolling' along La Salle just to have our project done.. waaah! and by strolling i mean walking from JFH to gate 3 AND VICE VERSA... grrr! although the trip is worth it coz we get to interview our subject BUT the fact that we (dhang,eure and myself) have to walk that LOOOONG its kinda frustrating.. hehe (may jeep nman pero di kmi nasakay.. haha baho kz sa wakadi.. haha) :-) hay!

this past week was EXAM week.. had brain damage.. actually i was totally DRAINED.. enuf said..

this coming monday is GRAD PIC DAY.. haha and i don't have any idea what my concept pic will be... grrrr!! think mia think!! gawddammit!! haha

then on FRIDAY and SATURDAY is our RETREAT... heehee :-*

***
MOVING ON...

had the opportunity to talk to a friend i haven't spoken for quite some time now and we had a little converstion on hows life for her now.. it shocked me when she said that SHE DOESN'T HAVE ANY FRIENDS as in WALA.. it kinda hurt me knowing that all these time that I/we waited for her to send as a msg or a shout out (NADAH, none, ZERO) then she will say WALA NA XANG KAIBIGAN.. its sad man! it kinda frustrates me because I tried, sending msgs and stuff so that she won't feel 'left behind' but i guess its not enough.. she said it, we are in different worlds now so if she thinks that way (even if i don't) then i guess i have to convince myself that we are indeed in DIFFERENT WORLDS now.. its just sad... sooo sad... :-(

***
saw a page in friendster... it SHOCKED ME... but i have to MOVE ON...

***
peace friends.. PEACE..

ciao!

who am I??

2006-08-29T20:58:00.000+08:00

have u ever wondered who iam?... did it every crossed your mind if Im just an ordinary pathetic soul that u see on a daily basis.. or im just an ordinary foolish being that has walked this world... well.. let me tell you who iam before other people do...

***

I am the most pathetic person I know..

Im vulnerable...

Im quite stubborn..

i can be your bestfriend and your WORST enemy...

i don't talk that much about what i really feel, coz i find too much talking useless...

i respect other people's opinion the way they should respect mine..

im heartbroken..

i open my heart to the people IM REALLY CLOSE WITH...

i try to open my ears to everything that i hear and i try to sink it all in..

I can be everybody's friend and i can be everybody's confidante...

***

What's the point of saying who iam? Im just scared that one day people will mistake me for someone im not... im not involved in any fight whatsoever i just wanna be TRANSPARENT i guess.. haha another thing that i wanna point out is that people can find a little piece of me in their lives.. i mean, some of their close peers might possess the same characteristic/s that i have or better yet find a piece of me in them... hay! i guess this part of my post goes out mainly to me coz im 'hurting'.. WHATEVER!!! anlabo ko n nman.. :-(

***

MOVING ON...

***

people... im in no position to tell u what to do.. tell u what to feel... and even if it hurts me seeing you suffer i try my best to look the other coz u pushed me to make that move.. im just quite disappointed coz u tell me that i know when to let go and all these inspirational stuff but you can't even move on... if there is one thing i wish in this world is for you to be FREE... i hope u won't take this as a beating on your personality.. I JUST CARE u know.. and i WISH YOU WELL.. my heart goes out to you and to my other friends who are hurting...

***

I AM HEARTBROKEN.. yes! iam and im not thinking twice in saying it again... BUT someone inspires me to move on.. sum1 hu helps me mend my 'broken heart'... U've undergone a lot over the past few days.. a failed relationship and all and yet u managed to smile and be yourself eventhough it hurts.. i admire u!! thank you coz u are always around to try and cheer me up... :-) i miss you dearly.. hope to be with you soon..

***

YOU INSPIRE ME.. thank you.. EVERY SINGLE CELL IN MY BODY IS HAPPY... u are the prime reason why im trying my best to be REALLY HAPPY.. thank you.. thank you is not enough to show my gratitude and appreciation for you.. u are special and i pray for you always.. :-) keep on holding on coz ur lucky star is watching over you day and night.. :-)

***

for MY STAR.. i love you.. and i hope that someday i get to see you shining down on me... :-) i miss you already and i hope that love will finally come in my reverie and in my reality...

almost...

2006-08-28T20:51:00.000+08:00

every single cell of my body is happy... ;-)

sabi ni crugs un daw ang way para maging happy ako.. hehe cge for u i'll try my very best to be happy..

nkikita ko ung mga friends ko and they tell me to be HAPPY.. si kring, she convinces me to move on and to hold on her whenever i feel down... si eure laging sinasabi na i'll be fine.. that i know when to let go..

EVERY SINGLE CELL OF MY BODY IS HAPPY...

honestly, im not totally happy pero a part of me is already feeling the happiness.. i think its because of the support i get from my friends... the jokes i hear from my close peers and the fact that i have the Lord by my side... hay! it takes alot of time to heal the wounds of love.. (aaw! love ito..)

EVERY SINGLE CELL OF MY BODY IS HAPPY...

i know, somebody out there loves me.. i know... i just know...

****

EVERY SINGLE CELL OF MY BODY IS HAPPY...

IM ALMOST THERE... :-)

history repeats itself..

2006-08-27T19:45:00.000+08:00

hay..

i was going through a friend's blog.. Dans Le Rose ata ang name nung site na iyon.. hehe ANYWAY, the post/s were all about heartache, the 'art of letting go' AND moving on...

i've always said to my friends (particularly the 'BIGO' group) try to move on.. 'u need to move on for your own sake' hay! that's what i always say YET i can't do it myself...

PAKSHET!

practice what you preach! a worn out cliche (at hindi gumagana ang special character ko..) and it sucks!! kasi hindi ko magawa... i hate it when i bring myself down the way i hate it when i see my friends feel low.. hay! if only things can be less complicated...

PAKSHET!

i made myself down na nman.. hay! im back to that same point wherein IM LEFT BEHIND.. hay! i thought this one will be alot different coz i made the 1st move.. i guess it wasn't good enough...

WRONG MOVE.. off to the flank!

PAKSHET...

sorry friends... im making another sad post.. i guess it just shows my vulnerable side.. hay! sorry again.. i promised not to be affected with what is going on.. i promised not to cry over something istuped!

BUT...

i have too...

according to the song im hearing right now...

Im looking for myself...
it makes me mad coz I WANNA BE HAPPY SO BAD...

if i could turn back time.. I WOULD...

think..

2006-08-26T15:29:00.000+08:00

everyday we get to be in a situation wherein all we wanted is to find the easy way out.. trying our best to untangle the already tangled up web of our own making.. what's the point of this post? nothing really.. haha but there are just some things i CAN'T UNDERSTAND.. am i that stupid? or are the people around me are just toooo d*mn good in 'playing the game'...

In one of my previous post i mentioned about life as a game.. and i totally AGREE with that thought of mine (malamang! post ko un dba?! haha) i never thought that people can be that MEAN and determined in playing the game.. or am i too naive to even think of the possibilities.. hay! i freakin' hate the thought of even seeing and hearing about it... whoah! it makes me wanna throw up...

( i hate the stupid spacing!! grrr.. malfunctioning na nman!!! grrr.. - dhang nararamdaman ko ang presensya mo.. hahaha)

hay! i was with my college friends last night.. actually we spent the night in BORAcoor.. haha :-) although only a few people came we had a great time.. hehe :-) astig.. hay! it was a haggard day... why??

The BIG dot.. it was a show we did for videopost.. it was a live taping for a project we have this midterms.. it was fun but very tiring.. we all had a great time.. (i guess).. although our dear professor was disappointed because we started late.. hay!

MAKATI day.. after the big dot we (eure,ruth and dhang) have to go to Makati for an interview for our (eure, ruth and moi) thesis.. (nakisali lang si dhang! haha) IT WAS RAINING HARD.. grrr! it was a very tiring day BUT rewarding because we were able to interview the cartoonist and we were able to see KRING KRING!! yihee!! pretty kring kring.. haha and we bonded!!! yeehaw!! haha hay! but i didn't see akie.. hahaha

PARK and RIDE... it should be park and stand!! gawd! my legs were like jello after walking all around makati and standing sa may park and ride.. hay! enough said...

BORAcoor... hehe :-) saya!! hahahha wlang tama.. palibhasa puro kwento ginwa.. haha

hay! i miss someone..

saw him.. haha he looked the other way.. may kasalanan kasi.. haha

YEHEY!!

2006-08-24T23:52:00.000+08:00

it was the course's first time to join in the basketball women's division of the CLA SPORTSFEST.. and WE WON.. yez!! broadjourn basketball women WON.. yipee!!! heehee :-) we've proven something guys (correction: girlets) haha

BRAVO BROADJOURN...

hay... it was a remarkable moment.. haha :-) everyone was in festive mode after the game.. its one of those moments wherein u are just too d*mn happy about the event that u just forget about the conflicts and misunderstandings u had early in the day.. hay! it was one hell of a game.. u can see how bad both teams wanted the game... waaah

labanan na to ng PUSO SA PUSO.. (yuck!) ang cheesy.. hahaha

well.. what can i say.. after 1 loss and 6 STRAIGHT wins these ladies proved a point and made us REALLY PROUD.. haha :-) even if in case the team lost I still am proud of them.. imagine! first time tpos umabot ng FINALS.. the good thing about it was nag-CHAMPION PA.. :-*

hay!! IM PROUD OF YOU GIRLS.. heehee

INUMAN NA!! INUMAN NA!! hahahahahahha :-D

P.S. super asterisk n nman ako.. grrr.. ngloloko na nman ang spacing ng aking site.. grr.. hehe

no no no!!!

2006-08-21T19:16:00.000+08:00

u can never say that u know what's BEST FOR SOMEONE... u just can't!! u can't make a decision for someone u barely even know... u can't say ur thinking bout someone's happiness when you don't even know what REALLY makes them happy... you can't put OTHER PEOPLE'S HAPPINESS IN YOUR HANDS... it just doesn't work that way...

if u love a person let him/her find his/her way to what he/she really wants.. u can't make their path for them... HAPPINESS IS A CHOICE.. a choice that a PERSON makes for HIMSELF... we are given the gift of FREE WILL.. the ability to make THAT CHOICE.. if we made the wrong choice its our fault, there is no one to blame but our OWNSELVES.. and its part of being and its part of being human coz man wasn't made to be perfect, he has his flaws, he has his share of mistakes but he also so has his share of victory...

NEVER UNDERESTIMATE the heart of a fighter.. he may have his downfalls BUT he will always emerge victorious..

i don't know what's the point of manipulating the situation... why did u do this? what's the point of even making that decision of yours in the first place?? im not here to judge u.. im just confused.. i may not be a part of this whole spectacle BUT u sure made my heart palpitate..

IM DISAPPOINTED...

But im in no position to hate u... coz im not involved.. but it made me wonder... WHY?????

WHY??

heartbeat

2006-08-19T23:55:00.000+08:00

happiness is 2 scoops of ice cream.. la la la ... i remember my very 1st cassette tape back when i was 3 y/o.. actually it was a multiplex.. (remember that?!) haha those were the days.. i remember cleary the happiness i feel everytime i get to play that multiplex of mine.. back when happiness was really 'easy' to find.. back when happiness is felt as easy as 1-2-3.. when Maria would sing to the von Trapp kids that they won't feel so bad when they think of their favorite things...

BUT..

I can't...

Happiness is not as easy as thinking bout my favorite things.. its not like 2 scoops of ice cream.. its not like that at all.. i don't even know where happiness really is.. is it it my heart? in my mind? or in the people that im interacting with everyday??

loneliness.. that is what haunts me every night.. everytime i get to switch off the lights and darkness starts to unfold im left with nothing but loneliness.. can there really be light across the tunnel? honestly, yes! i believe there is.. and i really don't believe that it should be another person or thing but more of ME.. i want to be the light that shines in my dark tunnel.. the only person who can save me in my loneliness is ME.. and i know that.. BUT i can't make the drastic step of turning my belief into reality... i guess it is HARD to do.. hell!

there are just some things in life that are toooooo darn hard to really understand.. sbi ni bez loneliness is there to make us realize how nice happiness is.. (how sweet it can be).. BUT there is still something at the back of my head telling me that, that explaination is not enough to satisfy my hunger for reason... :<

does this really have to be how i feel about my 'phase'.. waah! im still in that phase.. and i like this coz im scared of everything.. am i my own ghost? :<

IM SAD.. (yet AGAIN!)

this whole CRAP is something that has been haunting me for quite some time now.. i guess im just pushing it really hard.. its not about being single.. (i've accepted that, its NOT YET time) im just tooooo PRE-OCCUPIED with other stuff that i've totally forgotten that I TOO AM A PERSON.. that i too need to feel that im well accepted and appreciated for being ME.. and that I too long for someone who would see me the way others don't..

what the in the world is WRONG WITH ME??

hay! another night.. another sucking phase..

enough about this crap..

collection 1

2006-08-18T23:01:00.000+08:00

STRESSFUL... hay! that's how i would describe my day... =S hay! its one of those days when you just want to relieve the stress/es (whatever!).. grrr! i just hate this day.. although the fun part never ceases its just tooooo STRESSFUL... waaah! and the funny thing about it is i just sat my *ss off for almost the whole f*cking day... (pretty nice huh?!.. NOT!) hay! anyway, i learned quite a few things nman eh... so i feel 'kinda ok'... hmp!

*****
i sooo HATE this person talaga... i hate this person coz this person is NOT SENSITIVE ENOUGH with the feelings of the people that this person deals with... grrr! (take note on the stress 'this person' i really don't wanna tell if this person is a HE or SHE) >:s grrrr... i just HATE THIS PERSON... 'kung gusto mong matuwa sau ang mga tao sa paligid mo matuto kang magpakumbaba... hindi lang IKAW ang TAO DITO SA MUNDO.. matuto kang makisama... hindi ung kala mo kung sino kang ALL KNOWING... hindi T*NGA ang mga tao sa paligid mo.. MARUNONG KAMING MAG-ISIP..' grrrr.. i sooooo HATE THIS PERSON TALAGA... grrrrrrr...

*****

saw him.. UN LANG.. :> (blushing mode)

*****

i feel kinda 'low' lately.. i really don't know why.. maybe im still this 'phase' of my life when i wanna PUT a certain DIRECTION into it (my life) but i just can't totally see what this direction is heading... (or how it looks like)... i feel the pressure this whole future that is waiting for me... (am i ready for anything and everything?!) waaah! parang ang hirap sagutin.. there are just questions that are not answerable by 'yes' or 'no'; 'agree' or 'disgaree';etc... :-<>

*****

i wanna end this post with something that im soooo PROUD OF... my friends who are playing fro BJ (broadcast journalism) in the women's division basketball, u've all proven to me/us that you guys have the potential to DO GOOD THINGS... amazing! i love you all.. heehee tinext kita, hndi tau ngkiktia.. sayang naman! akala ko mini bonding ito.. heehehe' there are just things that are meant to be..

*****

what is professionalism? well i really don't wanna dwell on the whole idea... and its really really funny that people can go to that much of an extent just to prove a crooked system... what the hell is that... kaloka!

this post is about nothing...

2006-08-12T21:59:00.000+08:00

hay... i can't think anything interesting to talk about... i guess im just toooo darn numb right now... haha :-) but i will try to write something 'interesting'...

anyway, im trying my best to make things A LOT BETTER, with regards to everything and anything that is happening in my life now... honestly i feel a little lost, i really don't know where i stand and what i really want to happen in my life... i find it kinda stupid coz for someone like me who wants everything under control, i find myself losing control on everything... (LABO NO?!) haha :) i guess it just shows that life really is a rollercoaster ride... xp

MOVING ON...

i think im in that 'phase' wherein im PUZZLED... i really can't understang myself right now, maybe its in the hormones.. boy! this hormones sure kicks some ass!! hahaha but seriously, i just DON'T KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON IN THIS HEAD OF MINE... i just have no idea... i feel a little SAD and i feel a little LONELY and i don't even know WHY... waaah! i guess its one of those days when you can't decide which pair shoes goes with that cocktail dress... :-( again, i've hit rock bottom... hay...

i don't think joe the mango can help me this time... hay! (now that sucks! i don't even listen to him BUT i know his good) :<

**********
i've always believed in signs... if my dear friend kring is the ultimate 'wish girl'.. im the ulitmate 'sign girl'... and so far that's what keeps me going... i really don't know how far i can continue, BUT i keep on believing and i keep on hoping that someday... YES! someday, i'll get to spend time with the stars... :'<

stars are blind yet they twinkle in the night sky and kept humans mesmerized...
i've always wanted to REACH FOR THAT ONE STAR... maybe its not yet time to have my hands on it.. BUT i know that everytime it shines down on me, it can see the beauty that lies skin deep... I LOVE MY STAR... and I'LL ALWAYS HOPE THAT I GET TO KEEP MY STAR AND FORM CONSTELLATIONS WITH IT... :'>

degree in AB LIFE

2006-08-06T20:58:00.000+08:00

life is a school BUT not all are students... hay! i don't even know why this tagline keeps on ringing in my head... anyway, i don't even know if i CLEARLY understood what it really means... haha! :-)

anyway.. MOVING ON...

i keep on wondering why we come across people that leaves a certain mark in us that whatever we do it just doesn't go away... its like its embedded inside our very core leaving us with no escape at all... i tried many times to be in control of everything but i guess the more you try to control a situation, a person, a feeling the more it takes you deeper and deeper into SADNESS...

YES IM SAD... and for the nth time im stuck in a predicament that i think will never cease to haunt me...

Im blessed.. I SURE AM... and i know for a fact that my blessings can really out number my misfortunes... And im thankful for everyday and FOR EVERY SINGLE PERSON THAT TOUCHED MY LIFE...

BUT...

it doesn't change the fact that IM SAD and i can't even make myself smile even for a while.. cguro tama si mumoo we look at life differently and at some point we get to play it the way we want it to be... I guess im just at this certain 'phase' wherein i get overly excited with things and when i haven't reached my goal i feel defeated...

LIFE IS A SCHOOL BUT NOT ALL ARE STUDENTS... (oi! ngkaroon na ng direction ang post ko!)

In my case im a student... (maybe most of us are) and i don't deny that in the degree of AB LIFE im still having my fair share of F's and D's...

el mundo...

2006-08-04T22:05:00.000+08:00

Actually, the topic of this post is more of the contrary... heehee

Anyway, I've learned from the travel and living channel that we are only 6 DEGREES APART...(or was it 8 haha..) :-) meaning at some point we are connected with each other... this theory actually gave way to the creation of friendster, my space, hi-5, ringo, etc... its because of these connections that made this websites huge hits...

As I was browsing my friendster account, I was STUNNED when I discovered that some of my friends from high school were actually friends of some of my college friends... and there is this certain SOMEONE who was actually 2 degrees away from me... (Friend of a friend)! SMALL WORLD... my gawd!! It was the culmination of almost everything that I've wondered about and 'dreamt' about... hahaha nakakatawa pero totoo...

**********
Enough about the theory... hehehe

Im kinda missing my older sister right now.. hay! Although I receive emails from her on a daily basis I still miss her.. and knowing for a fact that we are thousands of miles apart makes it even more 'tragic'... hay! My childhood nightmare is back to haunt me...

I can still remember that day waaaaaaay back in grade 1. I was busy 'chatting' with my classmate when one friend called me coz someone was looking for me.. I SAW MY SISTER (she ran away or should i say eloped...) outside my classroom waving at me and just looking and before I knew it she was GONE... I cried right there and then and my classmates were stunned when they saw me crying (kala nila mai kumagat na insekto sakin!! Kmusta nman un?!)... I cried as if Armageddon was already happening... and I thought it would never happen again... I GUESS I WAS WRONG... As I got older I tried my best to ignore my past coz I always live in the present BUT the past will always come to haunt me... and it DID..

and now I feel like Im the 6 yr old kid who was crying in her classroom not knowing what to do...

I just want to be free of all of these...

YET...

I CAN'T...

as of now

2006-07-30T19:10:00.000+08:00

as always.. im stuck here in front of Brando (the computer) thinking of another topic that will suit my blogging desire.. hay! i think im a bloggermaniac.. hahaha (the term just came out of my mind.. and if its already coined by somebody else i don't give a d*mn!! JOKE!) :-)

MOVING ON...

my mom is coming home tomorrow!! yey.. i miss my mommy already.. haha ;) and im glad that i wil see my momma again.. too dramatic!! hahaha :-)

I JUST WANNA...

*****

...say that i appreciate the people who are constantly visiting my blog.. hehehe it may sound tooooooo dramatic but naTATATS tlaga ko... hay!! coz i know that somehow someone READS my posts.. heheh i feel appreciated.. thanks!! mwaaah!!! :-)

*****

...apologize.. to some people who i guess i've left behind over the past few semesters... i didn't mean to.. its just that sometimes when you exert so much effort and you don't get any reaction from the other side its just too frustrating... and i guess a part of me just GAVE UP.. although i strongly believe in the 'power of friendship' BUT sometimes that 'power' is not enough to patch things up.... im not saying ITS OVER.. im just saying that im tired.. THE GROUP had enough... and that's all there is.. there isn't anymore...

*****

...express how much i admire this woman.. yes! WOMAN.. i guess i don't know her that well but she's one of the few people who really inspires me to see the beauty in people and life in general... hehe cruggy.. hahah shulamat!! iba ka!!! at mai special mention ka sa post na ito.. heehee :-) sna gumana na ung URL ko dyan sa pc mo.. hehehe

*****

...confess that im looking forward in spending alot of time with my friends.. haha lalo na college friends.. home stretch na rin kz... i just hate goodbyes... hay! matagal pa nman dba?! hndi pa nga ngrereco! correction retreat.. hahaha :-)

*****

...share how happy iam that finally after years of wondering... the answer/s are finally REVEALED.. and they all came to me in just a matter of days.. haha :-) im still 'wondering' in the aspect as to what will happen next.. BUT IM HAPPY...

hay!

*****

ON THE LIGHTER SIDE...

im currently obsessed in finishing Memoirs of a Geisha.. heehee i just love the novel.. I sooo love Sayuri and Mameha... :-) and i wanna KILL Hatsumomo.. hahaha as far as i've read i can definitely say that it was written in such a way that it takes a part of you with it and you can really feel the emotions... its as if you're part of Sayuri's Memoirs.. hay!

I just wanna be a... GEISHA.. hahah JOKE LNG.. ;)

*****

Watch for that thing that will show itself to you. Because that thing, when you find it, will be your future. - Memoirs of a Geisha

~ isn't amazing that as you turn each page of a novel ur currently reading you get the sense of the person or character and feel as if you are indeed the person in that story.... I KNOW.. I JUST DID.. :-)

2006-07-28T09:55:00.000+08:00

this past week has been a total bummer... hahaha :-) and i don't even know if its worthy of a week round up.. but heck! i can't do anything interesting today so might as well get this over with.. hahaha :-)

*****

Sunday: went to rutha's sister's amadeo mansion.. hay! kinuwento ko na sa past post ko ung nangyari dun dba?! hehehe

*****

Monday: classes were suspended and we're stuck in amadeo.. left ate's house around 4pm.. came home around 6-6:30pm.. hay! it was a 'kaloka' experience.. hehe rode a van from manggahan which says alabang.. so someone with common sense will think that its terminal is in AlABANG.. hay! stupid me thought southmall.. hahaha :-) buti n lng mabait si manong traffic enforcer... he showed me where the jeepney terminal is.. hehe saludo ako seo manong!!! ;)

*****

Tuesday: classes WAS AGAIN suspended.. and it was raining really hard.. what happened that day is not really that interesting... puro chat, friendster at blog lng ang ginwa ko.. haha

*****

Wednesday: didn't go to school.. went to my sister house in Laguna coz they were supposed to leave for the Dubai the next day... :(

*****

Thursday: we went to the airport around 4am and i was a little nervous coz i really don't know what's gonna happen when we get there... and when we arrived and said our goodbyes, tears just kept on flowing and flowing and flowing some more!!! my gawd!! it was the worst feeling ever... :-( kept on crying on our way home and all that was left of me was my 2 watery and 'maga' eyes.. hay naku!!!

then after 2 hrs got a phone call from my sib and she said na the flight daw was wrong.. so they have to wait pa.. so they stayed in our house for the night...

AND THEN... something happened in skool.. its one of those moments na parang YOURE FROZEN.. haha ewan ko ba! but it was a little rewarding.. heehee :-) wanna share with you my horoscope..

The Bottom Line
When you catch a glimpse of your potential future, don't fret. Just embrace it.

In Detail
You're in full control of this day, and more than ever, you're ready to embrace the unknown possibilities of the future. It might frustrate you a bit that you don't have a clearer image of where you're headed, but you'll get a quick glimpse and a few clues about potential destinations soon. This new mystery holds a lot of promise and should excite you. Embrace the uncertainty and see it for the dramatic, positive direction it could take you in.

*****

Friday: i don't have any class on a friday.. so im FREE today.. BUT my sister's flight is indeed today.. and i think they'll be living later around 6:00 pm.. wish ko lng hndi ako ngumawa ulet dun.. hay!! hope i could hold back the tears... haaaay!!!

*****

Saturday: that is tomorrow.. and my mom nman will leave for Masbate coz her brother-in-law died and she (my mom) along with her other sibs and niece will fly their.. i think mommy's coming back on monday.. i left alone with my dad.. hahaha :-)

*****

hay that will be my day in the next what 48 hrs.. (ung friday at saturday kz tpos na ung monday to thursday) LABO no.. hahaha :-)

*****

ah basta MEDYO masaya ako ngaun.. heehee :-)

*****

coz that is how a Rookie Krumbles... ahahahahhahaha :-) nevermind!!

speechless

2006-07-24T23:12:00.000+08:00

ok.. its a monday and CLASSES WERE SUSPENDED... haha and I was way up in the 'mountains' of Amadeo with my thesis buddies.. heehee :-) it was well a FUNNY experience... I'll tell you why.. heehee

i left my house at around 2:30 pm (sunday) and I was kinda hesitant to go coz i was kinda NERVOUS.. yes! after years of 'commuting' for the first time i was NERVOUS.. my gawd! anyway, i really have to go.. gawd! we're talking about OUR THESIS here.. haha and so OFF I GO...

I arrived in Manggahan around 4:00 pm and i was a little pissed off because of the jeepney ride.. hay as what bez euri always says.. 'upong seksi' na naman ako.. hay! ;) ANYWAY, i waited for euri for about 15-20 mins then we rode a JEEP all the way to AMADEO,CAVITE home of the best COFFEE in the COUNTRY.. hehehe :-) NOW THE FUN PART STARTS...

we were instructed by ms rutha 'bombshell' maranan na bumaba sa school ng Tamacan.. so the newcomers from far away land ay sobrang nalito.. DAHIL HINDI NMIN ALAM KUNG NA SAAN ANG TAMACAN... at mai special detail ang bombshell.. MALAPIT DAW SA BAHAY NA PINK.. nakaw! anyway... to make the quite long story SHORT.. LUMAGPAS KAMI at NAPADPAD KMI SA BANAY BANAY (a.k.a Rutha and Lulu's hometown)... :s

Nagtanong kami sa manong na ngiihaw.. ng matapang na baka pwede nming lakarin na lng pabalik.. Na-shock ang manong dahil ang Tamacan raw ay sa kabilang BARRIO pa.. kmusta nman?! hay naku tlaga... so another jeep ride and another upong seksi experience... at AUN! napunta kmi sa school ng Tamacan... NA NASA LEFT SIDE NG ROAD KUNG GALING NG MANGGAHAN AT NASA LOOBAN PA.. (nung nakasakay kmi ng jeep (frm manggahan) nasa left side kmi so HINDI TLAGA NMIN MAKIKITA) AT!! TATLO ANG PINK NA BAHAY.. hindi ng-iisa.. SO KMUSTA NMAN UN.. AT ITO PA NG MATINDI...

nagtanong kami kai manang "Saan po ba dito nakatira si RUBIE CAUSAREN (ate ni ruth)?" tinuro nman ni manang dun daw sa mai jeep na nakaparada... AUN na nga.. PASOK NMAN KAMI NI EURI.. pagdating sa loob ang nickname ni Rubie ay BEBOT.. (so na-shock ako un ang palayaw nya) hay! pagpasok nmin sa loob ng bahay SOBRANG WELCOME KAMI.. tinanong ko pa ANDYAN PO BA SI RUTH SA LOOB.. sagot nman silang lahat ng OO! so ako nman hinanap ko si ruth sa paligid.. WALA.. e2 ngaun.. pagtingin ko dun sa diplomang nakasabit.. RUBIE CAUSAREN PERO IBA UNG MUKHA... NAGULAT AKO.. tpos ung rubie causaren pala ay nsa harap ko na.. at HINDI NYA KAMI KILALA!!! nagkatinginan na kmi ni euri..

MALI UNG BAHAY NA NAPUNTAHAN NAMIN.. siyeeet!! IS-TUPEEED!!! hahaha XD

buti n lng kilala nila si ate (ate ni ruth) hinatid pa kmi sa TOTOONG bahay nila.. hahaha at tlagang lumabas ang buong angkan nung RUBIE NA NAKILALA NMIN.. ahahaha XD

NAKAKAHIYA!!! XD

waaaaah.. pareho sila ng pangalan at ang malala mai RUTH din na nakatira dun.. hahaha :-)

ay my gawd! kaloka the experience... hahahha

As for the thesis.. the thesis is FINE.. but the PROPONENTS are all 'shooked' Up.. hahahaha

SUSPENDED ANG CLASSES.. haha wonder if classes are suspended 2morow.. or should i say TODAY.. heehee :-)

LIBRA

2006-07-22T20:52:00.000+08:00

my horoscope says:

The Bottom Line
After holding on tightly to a goal or wish, you will learn how to say goodbye.

In Detail
It may be time to say good-bye to something that's been in your life for a very long time (too long, in fact). You're moving into an exciting new phase of life, and to make the journey all the more successful, you need to drop off some old baggage and lighten your load. Admit to yourself that you have limitations, and don't be embarrassed if you never reached that one thing you were working for. Let go of something that once inspired you, but is now only frustrating.

*****
huwhaat?! is this a joke or what?! although im not really a FAN of horoscopes but this one really 'knocked down the house'.. hay! is it me or mai meaning ang horoscope na ito.. waaah! UNBELIEVABLE... maybe its a wake up call of some sort.. or maybe its just a spark of hope to my almost 'endangered' life.. (prang specie lng ako dba?!) hay! its all like a mystery story for me like im a detective looking for something that is FAR from my reach.. (whatever!!) grrr... its all just a MYSTERY TO ME.. hay.. IF ONLY things can be a little less hard.. IF ONLY...

the thought of letting go of something so DEAR to me is REALLY HARD.. and IM NOT EVEN SURE WHICH ONE.. haha (or does that mean i have to give up both?!) huwhaaat... wag naman.. :( waaaah! well... that sucks...

PERO XEMPRE... horoscopes nman aren't that 100% true.. (at tlagang ng-hope pa ko) hay.. things are not the same anymore.. the way i look at myself is DIFFERENT now.. my outlook in life is FAR MORE BETTER now than i used to 5 yrs ago.. my VIEW IN LOVE is A LOT MORE BRIGHTER NOW... (i guess)... haha LABO KO NO...well..

LIFE IS ALL ABOUT MAKING CHOICES... i guess im just NOT MAKING THE RIGHT ONE....

AS USUAL.. haha

ISTU-PED...

2006-07-20T23:14:00.001+08:00

grrr.. im sooo darn stupid u know... waaaah!! :-( ... i justa HATE the fact that IM NOT ABLE TO TAKE MY PRELIM EXAM IN RIZAL... as i've said in my previous post i should have taken the exam TODAY... but my prof was NO WHERE TO BE FOUND... hay! i didn't see her on the room stated in her schedule.. hay! kmusta nman un?! it was a TOTAL BUMMER...

*****

waste of time.. waste of effort.. waste of PRECIOUS MONEY... TOTAL WASTE... GRRR... >:<

by the way, sorry for the a-s-s-t-e-r-r-i-s-s (whatever!) 5 of them to be exact coz the istuped SPACING IS AGAIN NOT WORKING PROPERLY.. d*mm*t.. grrr..

*****

i saw mr van.. BUT the ISTU-PED part of it is that i was on board the van on MY WAY HOME and HE just came down from the VAN GOING TO SKOOL... IIIISSSSTTTTTUUUUUPPPPPEEEEDDDDD!!!! waaaah... i saw him YES I DID.. CRYSTAL CLEAR and yet it was not a 'MOMENT' hay! i guess its not 'meant to be' maybe some other time.. hay! grrr... SAYANG... >:(

*****

someone's ISTUPED right now.. haha whatever that means.. i don't want to elaborate on the subject... hahahahaha its me to know and for you to FIND OUT.. hahahaha ;)

*****

but it was a moment for myself when i saw not 1.. not 2.. not 3.. BUT 5 yes F-I-V-E white butterflies... wohooo!!! YEY!! hahahaha :-* NOW THAT IS SOMETHING TO BE H-A-P-P-Y about.. hahahahaha :-)

downlink

2006-07-19T22:27:00.000+08:00

ok! that's odd.. i have no idea why i even entitled it as 'downlink' hehe i guess i just remembered the satellites we used to discuss back in NEWSPROD if im not mistaken.. ;)ANYWAY... i really can't figure out why my posts are not properly spaced! i mean, im typing it in a manner that i want it to appear and yet IT DOESN'T... grrrr.. whatever!!!

just wanna share with you.. hehe I missed my prelim exam in Rizal kanina.. grrr! sooo.. i have to take it tomorrow which means I HAVE TO GO SKOOL!! and i only have to take the RIZAL EXAM!! kmusta nman un?! grrr! well that suck! hay! can't do anything about it though... grrr...

*****

MOVING ON....

dudie saw mr van knina.. hehe :-) it was kinda funny how i felt that they can be together.. I MEAN 'sabay sila pumasok!' haha i kinda sensed it.. and im right!! as always.. hahahaa JOKE! whatever... hay! well that sounds stupid... grrr...

*****

OK OK OK...

i also saw a WHITE BUTTERFLY.. heehee :-) that's all i thank you... haha

*****

===ice breaker of the day===

One of the best things I ever got for free was...

~ BRANDO THE COMPUTER... hahaha :-) (im close to saying a car, but i don't have one so what's the point of even saying it.. haha) without brando, i will not be able to do my daily internet surf, my 'typing jobs', my folder OCness (whatever that means!), and of course my BLOGGING.. hay.. i got brando for free and i have him all for myself.. yahoo!! hahaha whatever...

*****

P.S.. i guess the title of the post should have been 'whatever' not 'downlink'.. it doesn't make any sense at all.. sheeesh! :-)

dekada NOBENTA

2006-07-16T18:46:00.000+08:00

I saw this one from a friend's cousin's blog.. (gets?!) haha anyway, i had fun just reading it.. although some of the points raised i don't know, some i don't remember, and some HINDI KO GINAWA OR NARANASAN MAN LANG.. haha :-) hope u'll have fun reading it.. hehehe

*****

"Ito ang mga huling taon ng dekada '80 at ang mga unang taon ng dekada '90. Ito ang panahong uso pa ang makiuso. Kung ginagaya mo ang style ng mga artista, hindi ka tatawaging jologs. Ito ang panahong tapos na ang martial law, pero malayo pa ang new millennium. Hindi pa high-tech pero di naman old fashioned. Saktong-sakto lang! Ito ang panahon natin. Pero pano mo malalaman kung kabilang ka sa henerasyong ito? Narito ang listahan na makapagpapatunay if you're one of us. R U?

*****
1. Paborito mong panoorin ang Shaider, Bio-man, Maskman, Mask Rider Black, Machine Man at kung ano-anong TV sitcom ng Japan na isinalin sa Tagalog. Break muna sa mga laro kapag alas singko na ng hapon tuwing Sabado dahil panahon na para sa superhero marathon. --> HAHAHAHAHA at un na lng ang nasabi ko..

****
2. Alam mo ang jingle ng Nano-Nano. (isang kending lasang champoy)

3. Nanood ka ng Takeshi's Castle at naniwala kang si Anjo Yllana talaga si Takeshi at si Smokey Manaloto ang kanyang alalay. (Pinagiisipan mo - pano sila lumalaban sa final challenge na parang nakasakay sila sa isang bumpcar at nagbabarilan sila gamit ang water gun gayong sa Japan ginagawa yun eh taga Pilipinas sila?)

4. Alam mo ang pa-contest ng Kool 106 na uulit-ulitin mong bigkasin ang "Kool 106, Kool 106" hanggang maubusan ka ng hininga.

*****

5. Naglaro ka ng Shake-Shake Shampoo, Monkey-Monkey- Annabelle, prikidam 123, Langit-Lupa-Impyerno, Syato, Luksong-Tinik, Luksong-Baka, 10-20 at kung ano-ano pang larong nakakapagod. --> hahaha alam ko to!! at nilaro ko xa.. :-)

*****

6. Pumunta ang mga tag! a- MILO sa skul niyo at namigay sila ng samples na nakalagay sa plastic cup na kasing laki nung sa maliit na ice cream. (at nagtaka ka, bakit hindi ganito ang lasa ng MILO kapag tinitimpla ko sa bahay namin?) ---> actually, ung samin SUSTAGEN... at xempre with susy and geno sa stage sumasayaw.. haha

7. May malaking away ang mga METAL (mga punks na naka itim) at mga HIPHOP (mga taong naka maluwang na puruntong na kahit Makita na ang dalawang bundok.) Nag-aabangan sa mall na may dalang baseball bat at kung anu-ano pang mga sandata. Sikat ang kasabihang "PUNKS NOT DEAD!" pero kung gusto mong mag play safe, pwede mong tawagin ang sarili mong HIPTAL.

*****

8. Alam mo ang universal uwian song na "Uwian na!" na kinakanta sa tono na parang doon sa kinakasal. ---> korak!! haha alam na alam nmin yan.. haha batang DLA..

9. Nagpauto ka sa Batibot pero hindi sa ATBP. --> ahahaha :-) well infairness love ko si ate sheena at kuya bodjie.. pati narin sina pong pagong at kiko matching.. haha :-)

*****

10. Nakipag-away ka para makapaglaro ng brick game. (hi-tech na yun noon) --> TRULI..:-)

11. Ang "text" noon ay mga 1"x1.5" na karton na may mga drawing ng pelikulang pinoy. (at may dialog pa!) --> naabutan ko tong laro na to.. at uso pa nun ang term na 'damaged'.. haha

*****

12. Dalawa lang ang todong sumikat na wrestler, si Hulk Hogan at si Ultimate Warrior. Naniwala ka rin na namatay si Ultimate Warrior nang buhatin niya si Andre d' Giant dahil pumutok ang mga ugat niya sa muscle. --> hndi ko kilala si ultimate warrior pero love ko si hulk hogan.. haha ang OA nga nun eh..

13. Nagsayaw ka ng running man at kung anu-anong dance steps na nakapagpamukha sa'yong tanga sa saliw na kantang Ice Ice Baby, Wiggle It, Pray at Can't Touch This.

*****

14. Hindi ka gaanong mahilig sa That's Entertainment at pinapanood mo lang ito tuwing Sabado kung saan nagpapagandahan ng production numbers ang Monday hanggang Friday group. (at badtrip ka sa Wednesday group dahil pinakabaduy lagi ang performance nila!)

*****

15. Napaligaya ka ng maraming pinoy bands tulad ng Yano, Rivermaya,Parokya ni Edgar, Grin Department, Tropical Depression, The Teeth, The Youth, After Image, Orient Pearl, The Dawn, Alamid, Wolfgang, at ang dating sikat na sikat na Eraserheads. (at aminin mong nakinig ka ng Siakol!) --> E-HEADS!! wohoo!! mahal ko sila!!

*****

16. Kilala mo ang Smokey Mountain, (first and second generation) --> hahah 1st generation lang.. its the coco fruit of the coco tree.. of the coconut family.. hahha

*****

17. Hindi pa uso noon ang sapatos na may gulong. Noon, astig ka kapag umiilaw ang swelas ng sapatos mo tuwing ia-apak mo ito. Tinawag rin itong "Mighty Kid" ---> HAHAHAH meron ako nun!! haha

*****

18. Kung lalaki ka, sikat na sikat sa'yo ang mga larong text, jolens, dampa (mga unang anyo ng pustahan), saranggola at ang dakilang manika niyo ay si GI-JOE with alipores.

*****

19. Kung babae ka naman, ang mga laro mo with you're girlfriends ay luto-lutuan, bahay-bahayan, doktor-doktoran, at kung anu-ano pang pagkukunwari. ang dakilang manika mo ay si Barbie. (Sikat ka kung meron kang bahay, kotse at kabaong ni Barbie.) ---> KOREK!

*****

20. Naniwala kang original ang isang cap kapag may walong tahi sa visor nito.

*****

21. Swerte ka kapag panghapon ka dahil masusubaybayan mo ang mga kapanapanabik na kaganapan sa mga paborito mong cartoon shows tuwing umaga tulad ng Cedie, Sarah, at Dog of Landers a.k.a. Nelo. (Hindi ka ba nagtataka na sa lahat ng mga bida sa cartoons na ito, si Nelo lang ang di yumaman at namatay pa ng maaga) --> Flanders un dba?! anyway, pang-umaga ako at YES! badtrip ako dhil hndi cla napapanood.. kya masaya ako pg mai re-run tuwing summer... hehe :-)

22. Alam mo ang ibig sabihin ng "TIME FIRST!" --> OO NMAN!! universal term na ata un eh..

hehehe

Bakit kaya ganon? Kahit sang lupalop ka ng Pilipinas naroon, eh nakaka-relate ka sa mga pinagsasasabi ko. Siguro'y dahil wala pang cable at kakaunti lang ang pagpipiliang channels kaya parepareho tayo ng pinapanood. Maaaring wala pang playstation kaya kung anu-ano na lang ang naiimbentong laro na pwedeng gawin sa kalsada o sa isang bakanteng lote. Pero kung ano man ang dahilan sa pagkaparepareho natin ng karanasan, masaya na rin akong naging bata ako sa panahong ito. Masarap alalahanin at balik-balikan. Di ba?"

*****

korek! at tlagang na-enjoy ko ang aking kabataan... hehehe minsan ang sarap isipin na noon mas masaya ang bata kesa ngaun na puro computer at tv na lang ang nkikita at nilalaro nila.. heheheh *winks*

F.L.O.R.I.T.A

2006-07-13T10:50:00.000+08:00

i must admit IM HAPPY... kasi walng pasok!!.. although its not really 'good' to be happy in times like these coz there are a lot of people suffering because of the bad weather... BUT the FACT that WE DON'T HAVE ANY CLASS TODAY... is the 'fun' part i guess... hehe ^-^ hay!

ANYWAY...

prelims starts next week.. hehehe hope i'll pass!! hay! enuf said...

MOVING ON...

thesis is kinda stressful right now... AS IN!! grrr.. haggard.. waaah!! but with the power of three.. (aaaaw! charmed) i think WE can manage.. hay! i wanna do things right na dis time.. aaw! ma-drama...

AS ALWAYS...

things are starting to pile up.. waaah! deadlines are FAST APPROACHING... other responsibilites are being to manifest itself strongly... waah! and other stuff are starting to bug me.. hay! hope i can manage and finally see the 'light of day' KAMUSTA NMAN... hahahhaha :) ang emote tlaga.. haha

IM SAD...

in two weeks time my sister and pamangkins will be going to Dubai... hay! they finally have their visa na.. and i think there is NO STOPPING them na.. i'll surely miss them... i think new year's eve will be a little mellow this year... hay! its my fave holiday pa nman with my family... :c BUT i can't stop them.. haha and i know that they will be happier there coz they are complete... (my bro-in-law lives there)... :-) hay! i don't know how long my sister stays there and i think she's not thinking of staying there for good kz she can't leave me daw permanently.. (taray dba?!) haha sooo.. i think they'll stay there for a while...

IM STILL PISSED OFF... (with this certain person) HE's really annoying.. If you really want to 'belong' learn to respect people... UN LANG! sbi nga ni ayeen.. TAPOS...

P.S.

== ice breaker of the day ==

What would you like to achieve in one year if given a chance to become a senator of the country?

~ hrmm.. i would definitely improve the EDUCATION SYSTEM in the country and focus also on PUBLIC SCHOOLS... improve their equipments and the whole school structure (bldgs, chairs, tables).. ELIMINATE CORRUPT OFFICIALS (if i can.. hehe) and STOP people from getting money from the DEPed... grrr!

hay!

2006-07-11T20:56:00.000+08:00

ay gawd.. this day is a little should i say.. BORING... :-) hehehe hay! things are a little messy right now... we have to finish our thesis before this semester ends.. GOODLUCK!! most especially to those who just started... hay! anyway, i have so much in my head right now that thinking bout their problems is a far-fetched idea... haha

As i have said, things are a little complicated right now... CHAOS my friend.. CHAOS... waaah! i guess people are just trying to make sense of chaos and i think life will never be complete without it.. hehe it makes our lives a little more should i say... COLORFUL.. hahaha enough!!

moving on...

i have to be honest.. this day is NOT THAT BAD.. haha coz i had the chance to be with some of my friends... the thesis buddies w/ special guest dhang.. haha it was the craziest day EVER! (so far this semester) whatever... haha anyway, it was fun.. had a great time.. and i hope that Guiseppe Kurdapia will visit us soon... hahaha :-)

ANYWAY...

im missing some people.. hehee although they are around... I MISS THEM.. hahaha enuf said..

LASTLY...

i missed my class in Rizal today, i thought my sister was coming and she didn't.. hay! anyway i understand she's waiting for their visa.. they're going to Dubai.. hay! i'll miss them.. most especially my 3 crazy, sweet, pain-in-the-ass pamangkins.. waah! just thinking bout it makes me teary-eyed na!! grrr... waaah!! :c hay! also, i missed the BJPC meeting today.. my gawd!! i was completely out of my mind.. I TOTALLY FORGOT.. na-excite kz ako sa pagdating ng sister ko.. grrr.. hay!

AND ONE MORE THING...

i hate someone right now.. grrr! i hate the way HE acts.. basta.. he did something that totally pissess me off!! 'GWAPO KA?'.. grrr...

P.S.

=== ice breaker ===

What one thing can you do to have an effect on the government this year?

~ exercise the power of MY PEN.. hehe although i don't think it will happen this year BUT if given the chance that is what i really want to do... *winks*

pointless

2006-07-07T10:21:00.000+08:00

there are times when you are in a situation wherein you have so many thoughts in your head, and yet you can't find the right word/s to say to express how you really feel... you try to defend yourself from what has been said and yet you can't BRING IT ALL OUT... sometimes, its just so frustrating knowing that your helpless and you can't seem to be 'free'...

hrmmm.... anyway, i really don't wanna elaborate on the subject.. IS OVER, i can't do anything about it.. besides, i think things will be far more better this way... *winks*

=== ice breaker of the day ===
privilege: you can ask anybody your questions...
~ do u believe in love at first sight?
~ is love really a feeling?
--> whoah! pointless questions.. haha wla akong maisip eh.. hahaha

haggards days are here!

2006-07-01T22:29:00.000+08:00

okay... im currently doing this post while im thinking bout my to-do list.. talk aboout multi-tasking... haha anyway, i have A LOT of things to accomplish this weekend and i don't know if i will be able to finish all of it... haha :-) GOODLUCK!! grrr.. lots of hand outs to read... SO LITTLE TIME.. haha

what do i need to do this weekend:

1. IJ.. i have to finish reading the case study in IJ and i have to make a case analysis on it... wheew! which is 17 PAGES!!! AND i have to read 22 pages of a PCIJ's book... waaah! and i don't have the book yet!! grrr.. i was supposed to get it today but its too late to go out na.. So my mom told me to get it on monday... GOODLUCK! only a day to read a 22 page 'reading' GOODLUCK tlaga sakin... and of course i have to prepare for the quiz and recitation that will come... waaah

2. DOCU... i also have to finish a set of readings given to us... and i think will be having a QUIZ yet again this week.. goodluck!!! waaaah!!! isn't it amazing... grrr.. and i have to understand every single thought in the readings if i wanna pass the test... waaah

3. RIZAL... we have a reporting on thursday... and im the LEADER! for godsake!! waaah.. have to do some research for it.. and research some more... waaaah!! samamabits!

4. VIDEO POST... MTV shoot.. waaah! Ano na.. goodluck lng tlaga!!! Grrrr… and I don’t have a camera that will support this whole MTV thing.. need daw ng fire wire!! Grrr.. anyway, bez nman told me that I can join them pra isang camera na lng kmi… soooo… PROBLEM SOLVED… heehee :-)

5. SPECIAL CASES… we still need to meet about it…. Hehe I don’t have any idea what we’ll be doing in this course.. haha sooo.. I have to talk to my groupmates about it…

6. THESIS… whoah! its the biggest thing that i have to deal with as of NOW... waaah! still have alot of research to do... and monday is COM RES DAY!!! sooo how in the world will we present something about our thesis... ITS A CHALLENGE and i think it will be 'a little fun'.. hehe all i have to do this week is to research... need to set the timetable now so we won't lose track of the time... letters for interviews should be made already and a whole lot of questionaires to be photocopied... haha i think im starting to LOSE MY SANITY..

i need to remind myself that IM IN CONTROL... haha i think im losing it... wahooo!! anyway, im reaching the 4th of week of 1st sem and im already SICk.. grrr.. what more in the days to come... waaaah... this can't be happening!! haha BUT IT IS... the price i have to pay for my precious diploma... *sigh*

=== ice breaker of the day ===
What was the biggest surprise you ever had?
~ hrmm... i can't think of any actually.. hahaha someday maybe i'll be able to answer this question.. haha :-)

post its 3

2006-06-29T23:34:00.000+08:00

*Does our heart really 'break'? hrmmm.. *do closures really mean anything, are they really important? hrmmm... *does 'i love you' really MEAN anything to anyone... AND *is the RIGHT thing REALLY right?....

wheeew! thoughts... haay! i've been thinking bout a lot of things lately and aside from the fact that im CURRENTLY SICK... (and its just like the 3rd week of 1st semester!) gawd! but i still managed to make this post.. hehehe thats a 'bloggermaniac!' hahaha :)

before i really go into the details of what i really want to say, tomorrow is the big DAY for my BJPC family its our GENERAL ASSEMBLY!!! yey! hope it will be a lot of fun... :*

MOVING ON....

do hearts really 'break'... actually i got this idea from my bru jae's blog and sms... hehe and it blew me away... its not really the 'heart' that breaks but more of FAITH... we lose faith in realizing a certain reality... sometimes, we tend to be too involved into something that we give our full attention to it, sometimes things go out of control and there is no sense of making things easy coz everything SEEMS COMPLICATED... why am i saying this? let's just say i want to prove a point, that in love its not just love that is there but the FAITH and HOPE that things will be better... ONCE THE FAITH IS GONE, believing can be really hard and even painful to do... shattered faith can prick has deep as a shattered glass...

NEXT THOUGHT...

CLOSURES... are they really THAT important... WELL FOR ME IT IS!!! everything in this world has an END, PERIOD, TULDOK, CLOSURE... even human lives have an end... even novels have endings, whether 'happily ever after' or a more 'tragic' one... and its PART OF LIFE... but never putting an end into something that is... ---> *continuation at the bottom*

* i didn't know that i published this entry it was supposed to be a draft :-(... i was half awake and half asleep... haha and i didn'r realize that i clicked the 'publish post' button... hahah so the post is well 'PUTOL' !!! haha anyway.. today is the 1st of July 2006.... a day before the mano A mano match...haha anyway, im just to darn sleepy that day that i didn't realize i made a stupid mistake.. hahahahahaha so here goes the continuation of the post.. hehe *

the WORST MISTAKE ANYONE CAN EVER MAKE... (in my opinion)... actually i already ,ade a post about this in my multiply account and my good friend Cyra's blog sparked the thought yet again that is why i made this post... hehe

I LOVE YOU...

3 words... sparks a thought... fuels a troubled mind.. (WTF?!) anyway, many people from different places and different races know the meaning of this sentence/phrase or whatever you call it.. but does it really mean anything.. maybe for some it does BUT there are some who don't... OR maybe they do but there is SOMETHING WRONG within that makes 'i love you' lose its meaning... i really don't know how to continue with the 'thought' of this point im losing it... grrr... let's just move on...

IS RIGHT, RIGHT?

i finished the book VERONIKA DECIDES TO DIE by Paulo Coelho... and i had this dilemma in me whether or not mental patients REALLY ILL... anyway, we grew up in a society that is already established and already has an idea of what is RIGHT AND what is WRONG... and i grew up thinking that the RIGHT THING IS RIGHT, and the reverse action of right is WRONG... but the question is, IS RIGHT really RIGHT... actually, i really don't know the answer... im confused... its all TOO CLOUDY RIGHT NOW... sigh.. :-(

there are just some thoughts in my head that i don't really know the answer... (i guess everyone feels the same) and i know that i need other people to help me realize the answer to my questions... there are reason/s for everything... but no matter how complicated life can be there are still a lot of things to celebrate and appreciate... i hope you'll find it in your heart to be more keen to your feelings and things that bother you coz there it might be a hole somewhere in you that needs to be fed with things that money can't buy... learn to talk to yourself and learn to seek help when your all f*cked up! haha seems pointless already.. hahaha

*bow!*

=== ice breaker of the day ===
What examples would you like others to follow about you?
~ the desire to make people happy and make them see that even in their darkest moments, there is still someone out there who wishes them happiness... (that's me! haha)

whoah!

2006-06-24T15:02:00.000+08:00

another day... another pointless entry i guess... hehe

anyway, the weather is a little better right now compared to yesterday's... I can't believe that it still feels like summer when its already JUNE!... in school, u'll see everybody holding the 'weapon' of the moment, a FAN!! (a.k.a pamaypay) hehe :-) gawd! its just sooo freakin' HOT right now... actually, it 'rained' (did i have it right?!) a while ago and it was raining cats and dogs!!! but its still kinda hot... labo! wheew!!

since, i started with this whole weather thing, i wanna deal about the environment... its really sad knowing that were seeing mother earth deteriorating right infront of us... the ozone layer, our main protection from the sun is already should i say 'broken'... The other critters that we share this world with are part of the list endangered species and SOME are already EXTINCT.... my gawd! where is the sense of STEWARDSHIP????

God created the world in 6 DAYS, carefully thinking of what should comprise His magnificent CREATION... HE CREATED THIS WORLD WE LIVE IN... WE ARE ONLY HEAR TO STAY FOR A WHILE...

WE DON'T OWN THIS PLANET... 'nakikitira lang tayo' And we are pratically not thinking about that... I just hate the fact that mankind turned to be the one who will destroy EVERYTHING...

I HATE people who throw their trash outside their car window, right in the middle of the street... grrrr... I hate seeing dead animals in the middle of the road, with no one even bothering to pick it up and give it a 'descent burial'... I hate the fact that we don't wanna lose the world that we live in and yet WE ARE NOT THINKING OF WAYS TO PRESERVE IT....

there is more in this world than shopping, traveling, studying, watching movies, etc... And i admit, I am also a part of the many others who are NOT doing anything... AND I FEEL BAD ABOUT IT... I want to save this WORLD... because there are a lot more lives who will inhabit this world in the future and its not right to MESS IT ALL UP FOR THEM...

mistakes have been done in the past in order to bring convenience in man's existence, advancement in technology to ensure comfort... BUT MOTHER NATURE PAID THE PRICE FOR MAN'S QUEST FOR PLEASURE...

change doesn't have to be GRAND to prove to everybody that you've done something...

We could start in small things that can help preserve 'our home'... and bit by bit we could see the and make the DIFFERENCE...

Its just a thought of mine.. hope you'll come to realize that YOU CAN BE A CATALYST OF CHANGE...

***************
=== ice breaker of the day ===
Would you dare to sleep in a haunted house overnight?
~ NO WAY... haha im scared of spooky places, phenomena, etc... BUT if i will be with someone (i like.. hehe) on that sleepover WHY NOT... LABO! hahaha

miss bodestyne's back :-)

2006-06-23T10:45:00.000+08:00

im back... hahaha :-) after of almost a week of blog hiatus...

School already started and its dreadful!! i think its because of all the deadlines; handouts; responsibilities; pressures; that I have to endure EVERYDAY... *sigh* if only things can be a little less COMPLICATED.... gawd! sometimes, people just make things hard when there are other ways in attacking a certain thing...

since the whole 'people making things complicated' started, i'll elaborate... ok! so there is this something that someone does that PISSES ME OFF!!! F.Y.I: its not the person that i hate but the 'THING' this person DOES... (ok?! hehe) anyway, i just can't understand why can't we just DEAL WITH THE WHOLE THING and T-A-L-K about it... grrrr.. i mean, how will you consider yourself a communication student when you can't even express/COMMUNICATE properly with the people around you.... Is it because of pride? or is you're just generalizing everybody when you don't even know THEM/US PERSONALLY... 'napupuno na ko' and i don't want things to go out of hand but as long as this 'WALL' exists i don't see any progress and its just sad... SOOOOO FREAKIN' SAAAAD...

I just hate the fact that people are soooo darn hard to understand... *sigh* if only there is a way of making things a little easy... maybe people will not be that hard to fathom...

MOVING ON....

Im already done reading ANGELS & DEMONS... it was a little more dramatic that DA VINCI CODE... and one thing i noticed is that Robert Langdon is always disturbed in his sleep... anyway, nevermind what i just said... hahhaa its pointless anyway!!! haha

Another thing!!

Thesis is a little cloudy right now but i know will be able to finish it this SEMESTER!! (kmusta nman un?!)... its a challenge, and we're just on our 2nd week and HAGGARD days are HERE!!! TOOOOOOOXXXXXIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCC!!!! grrrr...

One last... hahaha

I saw my 'serendipity boy' / 'mr van' yesterday!!! hahahah :-) and it was a little funny experience... hahaha things change, people change, and he did change a bit (as far as the bag is concerned) haha and he looks GOOOOOOOOOOD!!! hahaha we're a little 'cool' and it was a certified KILIG moment... *winks*

=== ice breaker of the day ===
What expectations do you have for yourself that were borne from childhood?
~ that i will be able to live a happy and peaceful life... A true seravnt and believer of God... Someone who will bring happiness to both my parents and friends... hrmmm.. And that i will be rich someday and make my OWN money and be thankful to GOd everyday... :-)

first week HIGH!!

2006-06-16T20:59:00.000+08:00

first week of classes SUCK! and i mean SUCK... things are not happening 'as planned'... haaay... there are so many things to do and SO LITTLE TIME... as always.. :O anyway, our schedule SUCKS!!! grrrr... i really don't know whats happening around school today, is it me or 'are they drunk?!'... hehe whatever! (walang sense and sinasabi mo mia)

moving on... i missed the 'blop-blop' session last thursday... sori friends!! love you all.. mwaaah... next time! 4 letters!! B- O- R- A !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! hahaha can't wait for that 'main event'... wohooo!! :-)

i just hate this past week... although its fun going to school and FINALLY seeing your friends there is something that sucks in between those 'happy moments'... hrmm... whatever!! haha

since school already started, its also the start of... tadaaaah...COM RES 2!! my new thesismates euri and rutha!!! hahaa goodluck to the 3 of us... hahahha :-)

hope the following weeks will be 'less irritating'... hehehe :*

=== ice breaker of the day ===
How did you make money when you were a kid?
~ to be honest, money was never an issue for me when i was growing up... and i think someday it can be my downfall... ahrmmm... i used to get my money from my mom and dad so i just used my 'little girl charms' to have my share of 'blessings'... also, whenever we have family reunions, my aunts and uncles shower me with some of their moolah... haha :-)

*toodles*

happy bday ate L.A.!!

2006-06-14T20:43:00.000+08:00

my 'manang' :-) as usual getting into my stuff, trying to find a pen...

One of my most treasured people in this world is celebrating her 8th birthday today... My pretty chinita niece Lee Andrei Bodestyne Olaes (ate L.A)..... haaay! she's all grown up na tlaga.. seems like yesterday when my sister labored for 18 HOURS just have her firstborn... wheeeW!!

It was a sunday, June 14 1998 around 6 am when my mom was bugging me to get out of bed cause my sister is in labor... Being the lazy bum that iam didn't even bother looking at her (mom) when she told me the 'news'... after a couple of hours that's when everything finally set in my 'system' my niece is about to ARRIVE... as i've said... my sister went in labor for 18 hrs... sheesh! kamusta nman un?! it was a nightmare!...

But it was a 'memorable' day... haha my mom was the 'katipunera' of the day! She was mad to the doctor (Dra. Auxillos) and she has a 'weapon'... her trusty bag.. haha and then there was the new tita (moi!) was getting in and out of my sister's hospital room with a chocolate drink in hand (everytime!!) i think i was really nervous i used the choco drink to 'calm' me down... haha (excuses!) and there was my dad who was pretty calm and who wasn't speaking to anyone AT ALL... also there was my sister's mother-in-law who was so glued to the tube! who was she watching Bro. Mike and his followers... everybody else (including my bro-in-law) were outside... we were all nervous... its been hours and still there was no sister and baby around...

It was around 8:40 pm when the doctor said its a girl!!! haha after a few mins. i saw our angel in an incubator all wrapped up in a pink blanket... she was a chinita, has a fair complexion, and she was really SMALL... then the nurse gave her a tap at the back and we were shocked when she.... SMILED!!! it was her 1st smile... haha and it took my breath away...

although she makes me scream sometimes, and makes me all pissed off(hehe), i still love her! she's sweet and she knows how to comply with the house rules and 'my rules'... haha very smart and talented!! PRETTY OF COURSE!! --> i think she got from her pretty tita! haha :-)

happy birthday ate L.A!! love you... see you on sunday!!! :-)

***************
=== ice breaker of the day ===
How did you invest your life the past year?
~ hrmm.. to be honest, i don't think i made something productive in my life in the past year... Although i did managed to finish the tasked assigned to me and other stuff i don't think i did my best... But then again, i think by reading and investing in my mind made the past year a little worthwhile... and right now im thinking if i answered the question correctly... hahahaha

*toodles*

post its part two :*

2006-06-12T15:51:00.000+08:00

why is it that sometimes you find yourself alone, YET ur surrounded by a lot of people... actually the statement. 'you're not alone yet you are lonely' came from my bru jae.. she stated it back in our senior year.. we were talking about the Little Prince (my fave book of all time; the boa constrictor, grown ups (God Bless them!), the rose, the snake, etc..) ANYWAY, I can't help but take the 'statement' seriously!! I can totally RELATE to it.. haha it may seem to be too dramatic or what but heck! that's what im feeling right NOW.. :

anyway, its really sad knowing that ur trying to make other people happy AND YET you can’t find the right joke or statement to MAKE URSELF HAPPY… haaay… I guess its my eternal question for myself… I thought surrounding myself with lovable, happy people will make things easy for me… BUT HELL NO!! I am not saying I am not contented with their company coz I DO… I REALLY DO ENJOY EVERYTHING THAT WE DO… pero something WITHIN me still needs to come out… im not a lesbian (istup-ped!) hehe :-) wheeew! That sucks… :-(

There are times I just wanna go out and have some fun… just let it all out and let all new ‘positive’ energy come through my system… although there are tough times, I still manage to make things a little ‘fun’… ewan ko ba… I just don’t wanna be that ‘down’ anymore BUT its still there… THE SADNESS WILL ALWAYS BE A PART OF ME… I guess… hrrrmmmm…
***************
I saw ayeen’s blog today… hehe flattered daw ang drama ng lola mo… haha it feels good knowing that people appreciate what u are writing… it just proves that blogging its not just something that you do for fun or to be ‘in’… its also a way of expressing what you have in mind and letting other people see your perspective and make them THINK… nakakatuwang isipin na many of my blockmates and other close pals are really good in writing… It makes me think (as always!) writing is not just writing perce but it is your soul’s way of expressing what is it inside that needs to be unleashed… I believe that through blogging/writing I get to release the tension from within… and everytime I read my post I realize that my life story is right infront of me and I CAN ALREADY PUBLISH A BOOK…. Hahahaha (jowk lng!) THANKS AYEEN!! I ALSO LOOOOOVE YOUR POSTS… (nakakaaliw.. lalo na ung mga surveys hehe) You really deserve to be a Literary editor… hehe naisip ko lng, mnsan pa-seminar tau bout blogging… is there any sense with what im saying.. hahaha..
***************
I also saw fitch's blog.. hehe 'level up' na yan!! :-) u take care psycho!! hahaha
***************
Ngayon ang ika-108 anibersaryo ng kalayaan ng Pilipinas... Sa unang pagkakataon ay isusulat ko ang parteng ito ng buong Tagalog... Nakakatuwang isipin na nabuhay ako sa panahon na wala ng mga taong nagpapahirap sa ating mga kababayan (mga kastila, hapon at amerikano)... Ngunit hindi parin tayo tunay na malaya, marahil sa aspeto ng mga manlulupig ay malaya tayo ngunit mayroon paring mga parte ng ating lipunan na hindi tayo TUNAY na malaya...Subalit nagpapasalamat parin ako dahil dito ako sa Pilipinas ipinanganak, at lumaki... BAKIT? Dahil dito ko nakikita ang TUNAY NA BUHAY... Kahirapan, karangyaan, kalokohan, korupsyon, pang-aapi, TAGUMPAY at katapangan ay nakita ko na sa ating bansa at naniniwala rin ako na mas marami pa ang mga maidadagdag mo sa aking mga nabanggit... Sa bawat Pilipino na nakakasalubong ko sa araw-araw mas nararamdaman ko ang ating mga bayani, bakit kamo? Dahil nahaharap natin ang buhay ng walang takot na baka may dumakip sa atin o pumigil sa atin sa pag-abot sa ating mga pangarap...

Nakakalungkot lamang dahil unti-unti ng nawawala ang kagandahan ni LUZVIMINDA.. Marami sa ating mga kababayan ang naghihirap at hindi ito lingid sa ati; patuloy parin ang awayan patungkol sa pulitika; hindi sapat ang edukasyon na natatanggap na karamihan sa ating mga kababayan pati narin ang mga eskwelahan ay mababang kalidad narin; mga guro, manggawa, atbp na hindi akma ang sweldong natatanggap; ang patuloy na banta ng terrorismo sa ating mga lansangan; krimen at karahasan na pataas ng pataas ang bilang; at marami pang iba...

Kailan kaya mararating ng ating bansa ang tunay na kalayaan? At para saan pa ang tiniis ng ating mga bayani kung tayo rin namang mga 'ipinaglaban' nila ang sisira sa kanilang pinaghirapan... Gaganda pa kaya ulit si luzviminda?
***************
===ice breaker of the day===
What are your goals for living?
~ My goals for living are:
a. to finish school in time and march that way to my diploma...
b. be a succesful writer and be a part of the PCIJ team
c. to be able to go to New York City and have my own penthouse there.. haha
d. to meet my inspirations in life: Oprah Winfrey and Maya Angelou
e. buy an island and actually live in there... waahahaha
f. own a ballpen factory!! (serious!)
g. PUBLISH MY OWN BOOK... (please! wanna do this someday!!!)
h. own a pink ferrari.. [ang kuyut! :-)]
i. find a cure for AIDS...
j. build a foundation that supports Philippine public education
k. to be a teacher
l. marry edward norton!! hahaha or manu ginobili... hahahahaha :-)
m. TO INSPIRE PEOPLE TO LIVE THEIR LIVES TO THE FULLEST AMIDST ALL OBSTACLES THAT THEY HAVE TO FACE IN LIFE...

post its

2006-06-11T14:27:00.000+08:00

this post will be just like post its... u write on 'em and u stick it on your fridge, in ur notes, etc.... but this one u stick in ur head.. hehe (understanding n lng perhaps..) :-)
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school starts next week... im kinda excited but not that much... IM NOT FEELING WELL... haaay.. anyway, i'll be back in school on tuesday!! hehe i'll be seeing my friends again.. miss them.. :-)
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Im not like myself today... thinking bout 'crazy' thoughts... 'beliefs' that keeps me in motion are the things that i hold on today... haaaay... (meditating) 'home stretch', 'cheerers', patience, 'almost there but not quite', 'almost there', almost there, almost there... zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.... (what was that about?!) i dunno... hahahaha stupid!! *bez, alam mo yan...*
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forgive my stupidity, but i can't help it... im sooooo bored... and then im soooooo confused... and then im sooooooooooooooooooooooooooo PISSED OFF!!! grrrr.. i really don't know where this hate is coming from.. is it me, or there really is something wrong with this 'current picture' (of my life that is..)... hrrrmmmm... THERE'S SOMETHING WRONG... i can feel it... but i can't point out which one... :c
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SIGNS...FAITH... BELIEF... LOVE.... haaay... these are the key things that i hang on to lately... i really don't know what is going on in me... its like, all this thoughts are running through my head and all i can do is the 'wait and see tactic' (thanks! ms tumangday for the term :*) grrr.. i wanna DO SOMETHING to make things work but circumstances state otherwise... (not getting what im saying.. don't bother.. just READ) ...they tell me its not yet time, its not ur moment, its not right... i believe it too... ITS JUST THAT... im tired... that's it.. IM TIRED... IM SOOOOO FREAKIN' TIRED.... :c
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Euri asked me: 'hindi ka na nalulungkot?' honestly, im sad... SOOOO SAAAAAD... coz there is a whole within me that needs to be filled... (its not just a lovelife that im 'craving' for) I crave for a LOT of things.. (e.g. self worth, self esteem, etc...) ITS AN ISSUE that i have to deal with... *sob* sometimes, iam shock when i get to laugh really hard and still manage to smile and mingle with other people even if deep inside im hurting... i guess its a part of me THAT NEVER GIVES UP... i believe that i never lost touch of my TRUE SELF.. the one who wants to make people happy, and make them feel appreciated... un nga lng i tend to forget that I too need some encouragement, and i too need to be happy...
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===ice breaker of the day===
What fantasy would you like to live out? Why?
~ hrmmm... Living in the city that never sleeps and have a penthouse there... experiencing new year's eve there and see the giant crystal ball.. haha I just wanna work and live in NY.. i just love the city... :-)

ice breaker 2

2006-06-09T21:28:00.000+08:00

i was going through my 'memory box' (made from 2 rusty lopez's shoe boxes)... spotted my ice breaker 2 box.. i guess almost everyone knows it.. (most especially JOU 31)... back in our sophomore years, we were tasked by our professor Ms. Jibrin to pick a question from the box (ice breaker) then we answer the question SINCERELY... (it helped us cope with public speaking dilemmas)... :-) so i wanna do it here.. haha wla kz akong magwa eh.. haha :-)

1. What dou you want to see happen in your life at sixty?
~ By the time i reach 60, i want to have my own beach house whether here or in the Bahamas will be fine for me.. (haha) and then i want to see my family with me, from my husband to my children to my granchildren... hrmmm.. and i want to have my own private beach and my own private hanger with my own private plane and my own yatch and my husband and i holding hands while watching the sunset... :-*

2. Once, just to attract attention, I...
~ I made fun of almost everything i see just to flash my 'incredible smile' hahahaha (ang kapal!! hahaha) But seriously, that's what i always do most especially my crush is a few metres away, i smile and laugh alot.. :-)

3. What is the best gift that you can give yourself? why?
~ I want to give myself a butterfly orchard... i loev butterflies and one time when we were in Baguio I saw this butterfly orchard in camp john hay and it was the most beautiful place i've ever seen.. butterflies everywhere and flowers all around... It was actually an open air garden before with a mermaid statue at the middle of the pond... ANYWAY, now its a butterfly orchard.. what's the point, ahrrrmm.. i wanna have one someday! haha

4. What was the most outrageous lie you ever told?
~ There was this time back in highschool, i think it was my junior year... anyway, i came home late coz my friends and i were having a 'bonding session' in a friend's house... FRANTIC that my mom will kill me coz i came home late, i made up this story while i was riding the tricycle... when i got home i told my mom THAT WE SAW A GHOST IN MY FRIEND's VILLAGE... my mom was shocked! and she was just looking at me... AND I WAS CRYING... (stupid!) haha.. the irritating part of the story is that MY MOM WASN't MAD AT ALL... (stupid!!)

5. One of the best things I ever got for free was...
~ my computer? haha coz without brando i will not be able to blog as long and as often as i want.. haha I LOVE BRANDO THE COMPUTER!!! :-)

6. When you think of your lonely times, what scares you about the experience?
~ The fact that i was feeling lonely and that i was AGAIN crying myself to sleep... It feels really bad knowing that YOU ARE LONELY YET YOU'RE NOT ALONE... it sucks! and that is the scary part whenever i have my 'lonely moment attack'...

7. Cite a situation wherein you felt life had been unfair to you...
~ Everytime i turn off the lights and i see the darkness envelop me... :c coz whenever im alone at night thats when i realize that there are 'holes' in my well being that needs to be filled then i ask... WHY ME??

8. How is security demonstarted in your lifestyle?
~ hrmmm... I grew up thinking that having the capacity to live/survive each day means security... I live in a 'secured' life always asking my parents to buy me what i want and not really working hard to have it... I think i was never the independent type, being the youngest and 'baby' of the family made things even worse... hrmm.. my point of view bout security mostly revolves in money (as bad as it may sound but true)... [did i answered the ? right?!]

9. One thing that I can't stand to be nagged about is...
~ that im coming home late at night because I HAVE A BOYFRIEND... my gawd! its a constant 'issue' im battling with my mom... haaaay! kangawit na kya mag-explain... nakaw!

10. Do you consider yourself a good lover? How?
~ yun un eh! haha I really don't know... haven't been in a relationship.. EVER... yes! NBSB in the haus... (yuck! sounds weird!)... But I think im the type who risks my happiness over the happiness of a loveone... *winks*

*toodles*

F.R.I.E.N.D.S.... :-)

2006-06-08T22:30:00.000+08:00

i got this survey from one of my friend's (ayeen) blog... :-) and as what she's written she also got it from one of her friend's blog... i found it amusing so i also made my own.. hehehehe so anyway, its about friends.. so here it is..

(Think of ten of your friends. Write 2 sentences about each one, but don't say which friend it's about. Write one GOOD sentence about them; something you like about them. And write one BAD sentence about them; something you don't like about them.)

Friend #1.1. well.. we've been through a lot and im really happy that we are far more closer now than before.. u make me laugh and scream all at the same time! LOL.. :-)
2. i love you girl but the sensitivity is still there..

Friend #2.1. since childhood we've been together and i consider you as one of the few closest people in my life and i love the way you keep everyone at ease..
2. hope u'll finally wake up and see that there are more fishes in the SEA.. gawddammit!

Friend #31. your sweetness always reminds me that there really are few people who can see the beauty of everything... ur smile says it all! *wink*
2. ur hard to fathom.. there are times i wished i knew u much better and decipher your codes.. haha

Friend #41. ur one crazy lady! ur oneliners are a sure hit... and i always look forward on what ur about to do next..
2. hrmm.. there are just times when i don't know if ur still doing the right thing..

Friend #51. YOU MAKE ME LAUGH... SO HARD I THINK I CAN DIE THE NEXT DAY.. haha u listen and that makes me feel appreciated...
2. you don't have time to sleep, and i hate the fact that ur not putting ur self first.. hmp!

Friend #61. u appreciate things and u always believe in people... and i love the fact that u see things in a positive light.. (although not all the time)...
2. be more sensitive in what you do and always think of what ur doing coz there are times that i know u mean well but its not what the people see or feel...

Friend #71. u always remind me that there are possibilities of finding true love and being with my dream guy... u are always there in the gloomiest of days and keep me busy by thinking bout how I REALLY FEEL..
2. u left ur past w/o any closure and i know that ur hurting yet ur not doing anything about it..

Friend #81. u are the 1st person i met in college.. and u make me laugh and smile all the time.. u keep me grounded and i know that u love me.. LOL!
2. sometimes u don't know ur limitations.. minsa foul na! bka ma-foul out ka nyan..

Friend #9.1. ur soooo funny.. and u keep ur frustrations aside just to make us (ur friends) happy... u've always proven to me that our friendship means a lot to you..
2. there are more to this life than material things.. i know u know that but sometimes u tend to forget.. :P

Friend #10.1. u keep me grounded... u always show me that we/i mean a lot to you and all that we have is true and pure friendship... haha mishoo!
2. hrmm.. ur not visiting me anymore.. waaah..

FRIENDS... i have a lot more people who i want to include in this survey but gosh! 10 lng ang pwede... (kmusta nman un?!).. some of them i'll be seeing soon.. some i don't know if they still exist... and some i'll be missing BUT i know i'll be seeing by the end of the semester... haaay...

im lucky.. i have them.. and they're lucky COZ THEY HAVE ME.. haha.. honestly, they make my life a little lighter.. and i appreciate that..

thanks guys! love y'all... *wink,hug,kiss*

*toodles*

what its like to be the loquacious miss bodestyne

ladaridaa..

=)

being impulsive..

adios.

wishFULL thinking...

check in..

i was once a bully like you...

as we go on...

pissed off

if they only knew

me... me... me...

How am I?

point blank...

FINALLY...

sheesh!

el prinsipe...

pacita-mania

they're HERE!

perst

FLICKER

yea girl!

done, but with errors on page

chasing time

curses

salamat sa pag-alala

'chillAX'

best i ever had...

********

the art of WAITING...

FREAK!

inaway mo si tagpi

halo-halo

being myself.. whatever!

nothing

FINALLY

its MY TIME...

crunch time

huhmmm...

thoughtless

ultraelectromagnetic BIRTHDAY GIRL...

-hate-

read on...

stunned

-untitled-

-nothing-

picture picture!!

my problem in life is YOU..

mirror mirror on the wall..

para sa iyo..

i miss...

aaaw!

feeesh...

buzz

who am I??

almost...

history repeats itself..

think..

YEHEY!!

no no no!!!

*heartbeat*

collection 1

this post is about nothing...

degree in AB LIFE

el mundo...

as of now

speechless

LIBRA

ISTU-PED...

downlink

dekada NOBENTA

F.L.O.R.I.T.A

hay!

pointless

haggards days are here!

post its 3

whoah!

miss bodestyne's back :-)

first week HIGH!!

happy bday ate L.A.!!

heartbeat